If you are single, chances are good that you’ve received a lot of unsolicited questions and advice that are related, in one way or another, to your single status. These tidbits tend to come from both friends and relatives, and, while obviously well-meaning, have a way of grating on you after a while. You know, like, “why are you single?” Or, “if you want a boyfriend, you have to do [one very particular piece of advice that worked for them and will likely not work for anyone else, and is very likely just a means of reminiscing on how the advice-giver met their own SO].” Or, in the most aggravating of scenarios, it won’t even be advice, or a question, but rather something that sounds more like a rule that, if you don’t follow it, is sure to lead to your untimely demise.
Now, I myself am about to give you some advice right now in this very internet blog post, so I too am complicit in this problematic cycle of unwanted advice. But my advice is advice I think you will be happy to hear, because my advice is, basically, that all of the advice you’ve gotten throughout all of your single life is bad. Except for this piece of advice. Does that make sense? Anyway, check out these rules that all single girls should ignore:
'Don't Go Looking For A Relationship. It'll Happen When You Least Expect It'There is some truth to this statement in that, yeah, letting literally everyone you know that you are looking to take a lover as soon as you possibly can probably isn't the greatest way to get into a quality relationship. But the "watched pot never boils" philosophy doesn't exactly work for your love life, since saying to not look for a relationship often translates into the idea that you can't be open to a relationship at all. Rather, you should aim to be somewhere more in the middle if you're interested in finding a relationship--not right-swiping on Tinder until your thumbs fall off, but also not cloistering yourself in your room every night. (Unless, of course, your aim is to stay single. Which is totally fine!) Image source: iStock
'Don't Watch The Bachelorette. Guys Don't Like It'Or Pretty Little Liars, or Gilmore Girls, or any other TV show commonly associated with conventional femininity and are deemed "guilty pleasures" simply because they are geared towards women. Please don't mold your cultural tastes around those of a crush. The are no guilty pleasures--only pleasures!--and if something gives you genuine pleasure, please do not feel like you have to hide it. Image source: iStock
'If You're Too Picky, You're Never Going To Find Anyone"People often equate turning down a date because you aren't feeling it with being "too picky." This is mostly BS, though, since chances are good that you aren't being picky, you just...don't want to date right now. Also, if you are in the mood to date, if you aren't attracted to someone, it is very hard to force yourself to be attracted to them. Period. Yeah, it's nice to give someone a chance if you feel like they deserve it, but stringing someone along on the off chance that you'll develop feelings isn't beneficial for either party. Also, it is very possible that you don't want to be dating in general. Image source: iStock
"Don't Hook Up With People Without Having A Serious Commitment From Them. Why Buy The Cow When You Can Have The Milk For Free?"This is a particularly exasperating standard because A) Ew, farm imagery and B) Ew, outdated patriarchal standards. This implies that you are a literal animal who is spewing milk-spewing. Hook up with people if you want. Just be clear about your intentions from the start and make sure they are with you, too--if they have an issue with it, that is a personal problem of theirs. Not yours. (Plus, you definitely don't want to be hooking up with anyone who subscribes to that "milk for free" rule, either.) Image source: iStock
"You Have To Have A Ton Of One-Night Stands. Otherwise, What's The Point Of Being Single?"A lot of this advice, you will find, is really contradictory! Obviously, having one-night stands is totally fine if you're into it and you're being safe, but a lot of people tend to equate being single with a moral obligation to have lots and lots of random hookups, which is so not the case. If you don't want to hook up with a rando, don't do it, even if your highkey-cuffed BFF is begging you to do it so she can live vicariously though you.Image source: iStock
'Don't Think So Much'For whatever reason, every listicle and advice-based article geared towards single women contains some variation on a rule that, basically, boils down to "stop thinking, you psychotic spinster!" Uh, no. I do think that the idea here is to stop overthinking, which is good enough advice, but you should always be analyzing and reevaluating and considering all of your options, whether they're strictly related to your dating life or not. Image source: iStock
'Don't Stay Single For Too Long. Otherwise, You'll Get Stuck'This is...dumb. The idea that staying single for an extended period of time has, like, sticking power has about as much merit as the idea that making a funny face will make your face stay like that forever (AKA not very much). Also, staying single is not the worst thing in the world by any means. Lots of people do it, and they are just fine.Image source: iStock
What do you think of these rules? Do you know of any other rules single girls should break? Let us know in the comments!