16 Annoying Things That Happen When You Have Paranoid Parents

The downsides of having overly-strict parents have been documented many, many times over. It’s hard to be yourself around them. Your friends who don’t have strict parents can’t understand why you “can’t just beg your parents to change their mind.” They are particularly hard to deal with in the summer.

But having strict parents takes a backseat, I would say, to having paranoid parents–which, one might think, is exactly the same, but very much is not. See, strictness is hard to deal with, yes, but it’s rational. You generally know why your strict parent is being strict in one particular instance–like, not being allowed to go to your friend Maggie’s lake house for the weekend because her parents won’t be there, and you’re not allowed to go anywhere without parents–and while you might not agree with what your parent is doing, you know why they are doing it.

Paranoia, on the other hand–which literally means “an unreasonable fear“–is not rational. It often manifests itself in strictness, which is why the two get conflated, but the rules that your parents set generally don’t have a ton of rhyme or reason behind them (like, you aren’t allowed to go to your friend Maggie’s lake house for the weekend because her parents won’t be there, which means that you are automatically going to drown in said lake by Maggie’s house). What’s more, paranoia generally cannot be reasoned with, and trying to do so will likely only increase your parent’s paranoia.

Obviously, the same disclaimer that goes for strict parents goes for paranoid parents as well–they’re just doing this because they love you, it gets easier as time goes on, you’ll appreciate it when you’re older, etc. But it sure is annoying when you’re experiencing it–so, check out the most annoying things about having strict parents here:

1. Everything fun you want to do has to be introduced three weeks in advance to be approved.



2. An approval that can be changed at a moment’s notice because they have a “bad feeling” about what you’re about to do.



3. Any time you drive anywhere, you have to go over your route, potential dangers on the route, and make sure that your car has a full tank of gas and won’t spontaneously combust on the way over. 



4. Even though you did the exact same thing yesterday.

rolling eyes


5. And if you don’t text your parents within .5 seconds of arriving at your expected destination, they call the cops.



6. If your phone dies when you’re out, you have to immediately head home. Otherwise, your parents will–you guessed it–call the cops.



7. Every time your phone goes off, they whip their head around and try to look at message.



8. Or ask, “is that a boy??”



9. Or just grab the phone and look at it. (Privacy means nothing to paranoid parents).



10. Getting sick means that you can’t go out for at least three weeks afterwards because you’re “still recovering:”



11. If you’re in college, you have to send a text home every day. Otherwise, your parents will assume that you are dead.



12. If you get a new friend, your parents have to meet their parents. It’s non-negotiable.



13. And you don’t even bother dating, since you know the screening process that’ll entail.



14. Your mom thinks that your fun, normal children’s toys, that all sixteen-year-old girls have, are club drugs.





15. And whatever you go out, your mom is always like, “send pics, I wanna see you ;)”


16. But when you do send the picture, she… projects quite a bit of her own paranoia onto it.



Do you have paranoid parents? What do you think is the worst thing about them? Let us know in the comments!

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