13 Thoughts You’ll Have Before You Give Someone A Handjob For The First Time

There are always a lot of things that run through your head when you try something new for the first time. You’re nervous, because of the fear of the unknown, and you’re not completely sure what’s going to go down. It’s especially true when you’re about to try something ~sexual~ for the first time. It could be seeing someone naked, trying your first sex toy, or giving someone a handjob for the first time.

The last one can be especially nerve-wracking. It’s not like you have anything to hide behind. And you obviously want it to have a good result in the end. *winks* However, there are lots of things that you don’t know about. There are also a lot of variables. Not to mention that there are some things you already know about handjobs that are making you just as nervous. You used to think that you had a ton of nervous thoughts before you kissed someone for the first time, but you have enough thoughts about handy j’s to fill a novel right now.

Just take a deep breath and relax. Most of us have been there. The first time doing anything is always a little awkward, especially when it’s sex stuff. The good thing is that there’s only one first time – remember once you do it, you’ll know what to expect the next time. And someday, you might even be able to laugh at the things you once thought about handjobs. These are the 13 thoughts that you’ll have before you give your first handjob:

1. What if his dick slips out of my hand like a fish?

fish

Aren’t peens slippery, especially when they’re, erm, excited? How do you get a good grip? And how do you make a penis escaping your hand look all hot and sexy?

 

2. What if I squeeze too hard?Squeezing

I’ve heard that pressure is good, but what if I apply a bit too much pressure? I don’t want to injure anything down there.

 

3. How do I work in this whole hand washing thing?

Hand Wash

Surely he wants someone with clean hands to touch his dick. I wouldn’t want someone who just ate a pizza massaging my peen. How do I excuse myself before things get hot and heavy without ruining the moment? And when is it an appropriate time to clean up after? FFS.

 

4. Will he notice that my palms are really sweaty?Rubbing

Is it the same deal as a handshake where you can tell that the other person has clammy hands, or are dicks not that sensitive?

 

5. Do I need to spit on my hand to lube things up?

Lii

Is that what dudes do when they masturbate? Perhaps I should carry a bottle of lube in my pocket…

 

6. What’s the ideal technique?

Banana 1

Is it all just about rubbing up and down, or do I need to go all ~*fancy*~? Should I be doing some figure 8’s and different twists? Hmmm…anything involving twists and dicks sounds like it would be just wrong.

 

7. Can I get carpal tunnel from it?

Hurts

There’s a lot of wrist action involved, and what if it takes a long time to get things right? Out of all of the people, I’d be the one to get carpal tunnel or RSI from rubbing a dick too much.

 

8. What if he expects a blowjob, too?

1 Fish

I cannot possibly manage two new things in one session. I need to get my hand and wrist technique down before I can even think about putting a dick in my mouth.

 

9. Do I talk during it?

Weather

Would talking be sexy, or would it totally ruin the vibe? If I do talk, am I supposed to talk to him or his dick? No wait, that would probably be weird if I talked to his dick…

 

10. For real, what if I squeeze too hard?

Handy 1

I do not want to cause any injury to dicks or balls. The concern is real. OMG, what if I squeeze something so hard it explodes? Is that possible? Must google that…

 

11. What the heck do I do with the balls?Hands

Working on the dick is enough, and now I have to throw balls into the mix? Should I just leave them for next time, or is it like a whole package deal?

 

12. What about jewelry?

RIngs

Do I need to take everything off? Could a ring hurt his dick, or could it actually improve the experience? Surely I don’t need to be concerned about bracelets or my watch, right?

 

13. What if he cums in my eye?!

eyes

I mean, I’m in the general area, and it’s not like the peen is in my mouth…How do I know when and where it’s going to shoot?

 

What did you think the first time you gave a handjob? Let us know in the comments!

You can follow the author, Heather Cichowski, on Twitter.

 

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