At this point, the many words that the internet hates are so well-known that to hate them yourself is basically a cliche. You know, words like “moist.” “Panties.” “Smear.” Words that, somehow, through their unfortunate combination of consonants and vowels, make them more or less impossible to hear or read in any context. If you think about it, though, all of these words are basically all the same because they all revolve around–or can be connected to–sex in one way or another.
I know this, as I know most things, because of Rick Steves. A few years ago, I was on a trip to Florence, Italy, and I had brought along a copy of Rick Steves’ guide to Florence (obviously, it was the cheapest one). In it, Mr. Steves instructed the reader to visit the Uffizi gallery to see Sandro Botticelli’s “Birth of Venus” painting. This, if not the most unique advice, is perfectly fine advice, except for he described it as a “must-see” because everyone has to witness the “fleshy” and “sensuous” curves” of the Venus. Isn’t that awful? No disrespect to Rick Steves, obviously (I find his travel guides to be both engaging and affordable!) but I would sooner roll around in a pit full of broken glass and then go for a swim in the Zika-infested waters of the Rio Olympics than hear my name, “fleshy” and “sensual” escape from Rick Steve’s lips in the same breath.
The point here is that there are some words that, though they technically do mean “sexy,” should really never actually be used to describe a person who you find to be sexy, because, chances are, they will not feel particularly sexy once they hear it. (Have I said “sexy” enough to render it totally unusable, too?) Anyway, check out these gross words for “sexy” that will actually make you want to die:
If it’s a word that Rick Steves used to single-handedly ruin one of the finest pieces of art in the world, maybe… don’t use it.
Variation on “sensual.” Still terrible.
This one means “of marriageable condition or age,” and is generally specifically used for young women, which brings to mind, like, an old man saying it about a girl who has literally just become legal. GAG.
Usually used in conjunction with “ample.” Very bad in any context.
No offense to any man who is a regular patron at the “Virile Barber & Shop,” but this word makes me want to perish!!
This is an ACTUAL REAL WORD that is meant to be used as a compliment, meaning that one has “great physical beauty,” but there is no way that it does not serve a dual purpose as a word to describe a disease (like, if you remove the letters in the middle, it literally spells “pus”).
9. Eye candy:
I just do not like the imagery here, personally. SUE ME.
Everyone keeps saying that scene culture is back, but it the word “shmexy”–which literally just means sexy, with a gratuitous lip spasm at the beginning of the word–comes with it, count me out.
Welp. We only have ourselves to blame for this one, I guess.
What do you think of these words? Are there any that I forget? Let us know in the comments!