Nothing is more obnoxious than someone saying women should and should not do something, so I apologize in advance for a post telling you what you should and shouldn’t do (I know, I know). I’m all for people doing whatever they want, but for your own sanity, let’s just think about what you say on a regular basis for a second. Undeniably, there are some tiresome phrases women should stop saying. Do you mean to say what you’re saying, or were you raised as a woman to make yourself seem smaller and devalue your opinions in the name of being polite and ladylike? Oops. Most of our problematic phrasing comes from societal pressure to try to be more dainty. Sometimes it’s a confidence issue, where we put other girls down to make ourselves feel good. The phrasing is so coded and insidious that it’s hard to pick up on without careful examination and critical thinking. Sometimes, you need to hear someone else tell you to shush.
So, yes, I know it’s annoying to listen to someone tell you how to live your life. But think about it this way: recognizing you shouldn’t say this stuff and stopping yourself from doing so could actually be a good thing. Since you’re removing potentially misogynistic phrases out of your vocabulary, you’re helping other women. It’s just another way to smash the patriarchy, y’all: eliminating problematic phrasing from your vocabulary to make room for more strength. Take up all the space you want! Let whatever preconceived notions and learned behaviors go and for the love of Beyonce, please stop saying these ten phrases right now.
It's Because Of My PeriodIt's really easy to blame our periods for anger, sadness, or any other "emotional outburst" that is deemed impolite or out of character. And while your period really sometimes is behind that change in mood, it isn't always. Sometimes, we use the excuse because we know we just did something wrong or too emotionally over-the-top, which, let's face it, isn't super fair. Other times, we use the excuse to get out of things, like gym class or awkward situations. Then, some of us get mad when we act too emotional, and a dude asks if we're on our period. Can't have it both ways, ladies! Stop blaming your period for emotions - they're valid, and it's okay to have them. Constantly blaming menstruation isn't helping. Source: iStock
I'm Much Prettier Than Her Anyways...As said by most people after a break up when they see their ex with someone else. It's your one consolation prize after your ex moves on, right? At least you're more conventionally attractive than this new girl, right? So, let's take a step back for a second. Why does it matter that you're prettier than another girl? Does it make you feel better about something you're actually feeling deeply insecure about? This comparison is a cheap shot and a shitty bandaid masking some larger issue you're having a hard time dealing with. Not to get all therapist on you, but think about why you say this phrase when you say it. It feels pretty bad, too. I think we can all agree that "mean girl" behavior sucks, so why is it okay when we do it to another person we hate? Are you constantly on some ever elevating moral highground? Being pretty isn't the end all/be all of being a woman.Source: iStock
Have You Lost Weight? You Look Gorgeous!Weight does not equal beauty, and saying this phrase, which is seemingly a compliment, makes it seem like it does. Of course, diet, exercise, and weight loss is not always bad, but it's when you put a comparative value on someone's appearance as being better when they're skinnier, that's where things get tricky. Are people only more attractive when they meet a certain standard? Pretty messed up when you put it that way, right? Aside from that, sudden weight loss happens for all kinds of reasons. Reasons that are not diet and exercise include eating disorders, serious illness, or unbearable stress and sadness. Praising the after effects of something harmful could encourage the opposite behavior. You never know what someone's dealing with. Instead, just omit hte "have you lost weight" portion of this perceived compliment and just say that someone looks gorgeous. Source: iStock
Does That Make Sense To You?Trust that you're being articulate enough the first time. You don't have to backpedal over something you said and negate yourself by basically saying "lol if I even made sense, I hope you understood that since I don't know how to talk." I know it isn't saying "sorry" but it's still a way of apologizing for taking up space or saying what you mean to say. If someone doesn't understand, they'll ask you to clarify, but until then, why open the door to have someone come through and shut you down? Source: iStock
I'm FineDon't say you're fine when you aren't really fine! We ALL know "I'm fine" means "I am definitely not fine," and yet we ALL keep up this passive aggressive behavior. You don't need to take care of anyone else's feelings but your own. You aren't burdening anyone else by saying that you aren't doing completely okay. You're allowed to be things other than fine. You aren't being a complainer or a downer if you're just being real about how you're feeling. If you're great, say so, you aren't being conceited. If you aren't doing great, say that, too. Who cares? A lot of issues in life go unresolved because people aren't upfront with how they're feeling and what they're thinking from the get go. Just speak your truth.Source: iStock
Do I Look Fat In This?There are worse things in this world to be than fat! What are you saying when you ask if you look fat in something? If you mean to say "do I look good in this?" then say that instead. Ask if something is flattering. Ask any other question relative to your appearance than if you look fat in something. Who cares if you look fat? Do all fat people look bad in clothes? If that's sincerely what you believe, than maybe your issue is bigger than whether or not a certain pair of jeans looks okay on you or not.Source: iStock
I'm Not Like Other GirlsSo we're all clear, there's only one right way to be the Best Girl and that's to be however you are. Why the competition to be more or less whatever and shame the rest of the female population in comparison to yourself? You aren't like other girls. You're different! You're better! You're *~special~*. Please. All girls are different and we're all cool in our own ways that we should celebrate without taking everyone else down in the process. What does this phrase even mean anyways? Stop saying it.Source: iStock
'Real Girls'Real girls have curves, real girls eat cheeseburgers, real girls have vaginas, real girls can run in heels. Cool story. Quick question: does that make every other girl a cheap knockoff of the Real Thing aka you? Real girls are anyone who identifies as a girl. Everyone else? Feel free to not be a girl! Gender is a construct. It's performative. Why are we perpetuating some myth that there's only one right way to be a girl? Furthermore, why is it necessary to insult other girls by shoving them down the totem pole of girlhood in order to lift yourselves up? That's just mean. Real girls come in all shapes and sizes. They do a lot of different things. Some girls even have penises. The world is a big place and to say that only one way to be is okay is actually ridiculous. Source: iStock
I Just...This is a verbal shrug. Why are you presenting a topic already unsure of yourself? Next time you're tempted to say "I just" before a thought, take a breath and skip right over it. You'll be surprised by how much stronger you sound. "I just" hits the breaks before you even really get going. It makes what you're saying seem smaller. Who wants to be smaller? I know as women we're supposed to clear space for larger personalities and men, but who says we can't be those things? Take up all the space! Have your thoughts. You don't need to make anything seem or sound softer than it is. Source: iStock
I'm SorryWhyyyyy do we apologize for everything? Why? How do we make it stop? Say you're sorry for when you actually mean it and need to say it. It's a frequent filler phrase when you want to say something like "excuse me." Try reserving sorry for the times when you actually have to apoologize for something, not for normal life stuff where you're basically apologizing for existing. There's a lot of unpacking to do when it comes to women chronically saying "I'm sorry" when they don't need to. Even if you don't say it, just notice how many women around you say it as well as why. Sometimes the reasons are so trivial. Like saying "I love you" over and over again makes it lose it's meaning, the same thing goes for "I'm sorry." You don't have to be sorry for everything.Source: iStock
What do you say most often? Do you have a problem with these phrases or do you think they’re okay? Let us know in the comments!
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