9 Things You Think You Will Happen During A First Kiss That Won’t Happen

Snogging. Necking. Making out. Tonguing. Frenching. Smooching. There are plenty of words to describe kissing that don’t prepare you for what it’s like to actually do it the first time (except maybe “tonguing.” That one is pretty accurate!). If you’ve never been kissed before, the concept of locking lips with another human being can seem like a weird one. You eat with that mouth. There’s spit in there. What do you do with your teeth? What will your first kiss even be like? That special moment comes with a lot of expectations, which lead you to think all of these things are going to happen during a first kiss that, uh, don’t really happen. It’s not as bad as it seems, we promise!

Fortunately, people have kissing since people have been breathing – there seems to be an innate talent in each one of us to navigate the realm of kissing. Having your first kiss ever, or even your first kiss with a new person, can be a big deal. Where will it happen? Who will make the first move? What will you do after it’s over? While I may not have all of those answers, I can allay some of your fears – these things very likely won’t happen during your first kiss. And if they do, I’m sorry. I tried!

It Will Happen At The Right Moment

Of course, it's possible that you'll gaze into each other's eyes with a knowing look, leaning in slowly until your lips meet in cosmic unity. But it's not guaranteed. It's more likely that one of you will work up the guts to make a move when you happen to be within kissing distance of each other. There is no script for a first kiss.

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You Will Know What You're Doing

If it's your first kiss ever, you're probably nervous about doing it "right." A few tips: if they know what they're doing, follow their lead. Everything in moderation—too little tongue is dry, too much tongue is sloppy. Follow your natural instincts. No one takes kissing classes, yet we all somehow figure out how to kiss. If it's your first kiss with a new person, getting used to their mouth and their make out style might still take time, but hey, practice takes perfect!

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There Will Be Music

In the movies, the kissers are either in the middle of a romantic scenario with music literally playing in the background, or they're so swept up in the moment that an orchestra performs inside their head. The music inside your head thing is totally false, unless it's the song that has been stuck inside your head all day. As far as background music goes, you'll hopefully be too busy making out to notice if it's Kanye West or Taylor Swift.

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It Will Be Romantic And Meaningful

There won't be fireworks. You probably won't be standing in the pouring rain. You aren't chasing them down a train platform before they move away. It's probably not underneath mistletoe. It might be a stranger, it might be a friend. Your first kiss isn't your last kiss. You don't have to find the meaning of life.

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It Will Be Painfully Awkward

On the flip side of romantic notions, you might be concerned about how terrible the first kiss will be. I have to be honest: it might be terrible. I've had terrible first kisses. But most of them are average or above! Read the situation: if you're into each other, it should be totally fine. If you haven't gotten any "let's put our tongues in each other's mouths" vibes, it might be best to hold off for now.

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You Will DTR

If you kiss your crush for the first time, you might think this signifies taking things to the next level. You've been talking for awhile, now you've sealed the deal so it's time to "define the relationship" right? Not necessarily. Getting physical is not the same thing as getting intimate. If you're both into each other, talk about it! But don't rush a relationship—or worse, automatically assume you're together—just because you've swapped spit.

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You Will Fall In Love

Sparks don't always fly. You will probably feel connected to them, but jumping right into love is a big leap. You might even kiss someone only to discover that there is no physical chemistry between the two of you. Not every frog turns into a prince.

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It Will Lead To More

If both of you are comfortable passing first base, go for it! However, your first kiss doesn't have to lead to a "home run." Take things slow. Enjoy the moment.

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It Will Be Perfect

Odds are, it won't be. Your teeth might bump. Your friends might walk in and cheer. Your mom might call right in the middle of it. But you know the best thing about first kisses? They can turn into second kisses.

Image source: iStock

Have you had your first kiss yet? What was it like? What did we forget to include? Let me know in the comments.


11 Embarrassing Things You Thought Only You Did During A First Kiss

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