13 Thoughts You’ll Have When You See Someone Naked For The First Time

When most of us are around the person we’re crushing on, our heads get a little bit fuzzy and woozy. A ton of crazy thoughts start to run through our minds, thoughts that we don’t even want to admit to other people. We start to feel weak int he knees and even get a little dizzy. Forming four-word sentences can be a challenge, because there are a million thoughts going on inside of our heads. I get it. I’ve been there.

Now imagine what the situation is like when you’re both butt naked. Yeah. When you’re wearing absolutely nothing but a cheesy smile in front of someone for the first time, a lot of things will go through your mind. Your brain will be racing about silly concerns like whether you remembered to shave your legs, why you thought it was a wise move to eat that bean burrito before this, and whether the other person has noticed your [insert name of body insecurity here].

There will be a lot going on in that head of yours about yourself and your bod, but you’ll also be having thoughts about the other person. You’re used to seeing them wearing at least a t-shirt, pants, socks, shoes, and a watch. Now, they’re standing in front of you with their underwear thrown on the floor. That is going to bring up more than a few thoughts, obvs. These are the thoughts you’ll have when you see someone naked for the first time:

1. Daaaayyyummm.

naked me gusta

Well, hello there.


2. Hot! Hot! Hot!

naked 2

I don’t even know where to look. There is just too much stuff going on here. My brain cannot take it all in fast enough. Circuit overload.


3. There should be a rule that people like this aren’t allowed to wear shirts.

naked crush

I mean, why would you ever force someone to cover up that torso? That is just cruel.


4. Do not drool.

naked harry potter

Note to self: Close your damn mouth, and remember to swallow regularly. Yes, they’re hot, but you cannot openly gawk at them.


5. Do you find it cold in here?

naked cold

You definitely don’t look cold. I find it a bit nipple, err, nippy in here. A hot bod like that probably doesn’t get goosebumps.


6. Someone is definitely lying about how often they go to the gym.

naked faint

Surely a body like that requires a lot of hard work and discipline…


7. Soooo, what’s happening here?

naked awkward

We’re both naked, and we’re both in this room. Do you have a game plan?


8. …And what’s going to happen after this?!

naked freaking out

Where is this going to go? What is going to happen after this? And what is going to happen after that? OMG, what is going to come after that? And what the heck is going to happen tomorrow?


9. Should I compliment something?

naked no clue

I’ve been standing here staring for what feels like ages. Would it be cheesy to say how much I like those arms, that back, or that stomach, or is that a totally uncool?


10. Yeah, they definitely caught me looking down there.

naked pod

How could I not look?! If someone is standing in front of you naked, you’re going to look them up and down. Plus, the crotch just sort of, err, jumps out at you.


11. Ugh, they totally know I’m freaking out inside.

naked no look

I can’t stay calm. I know it. Hottie over there knows it. If only I was still wearing my shirt. I could have covered my face with my sleeve so my emotions wouldn’t be so obvious.


12. Get over here, NOW!

naked seth

Okay, I’m over gazing at that marvelous physique, I want to know what it feels like.


13. Yup, it feels even better that it looks.

naked so good

Best. Day. Ever.

What do you think when you see someone naked for the firs time? Let us know in the comments!

You can follow the author, Heather Cichowski, on Twitter.


10 Thoughts You’ll Have The First Time You’re Naked In Front Of Someone

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