Immaturity is about a lot more than just laughing at penis jokes, acting silly at inappropriate times, and wearing childish clothing. It’s not always obvious when someone is immature. Some people seem very grown-up and put-together on the outside, but emotionally, they haven’t really gotten past certain childlike things. They fool other people into thinking they’re mature, and they probably fool themselves most of the time too. There are lots of small things we do that we don’t even realize are making us seem immature to others, and since acting mature is a really important part of growing up, we need to learn how to be more aware of those things.
For example: I used to be friends with a girl who, on the outside, seemed like she had it all figured out. She was smart, funny, had a great personality, dressed like she lived in a fashion magazine, and knew how to take control of situations. That was all on the surface, though. As I got to know her better and we became close, I discovered she was actually very selfish and childish. She didn’t know how to deal with confrontation, she had no idea how to be a great friend, and she was always convinced she was right. She was immature, deep down, and she probably still doesn’t know that.
The truth is, there’s no one out there who is 100 percent mature. We all have immature habits or traits that we may never get rid of. There’s an immature guilty pleasure in all of us that comes out when we’re feeling weak and vulnerable, and that’s okay. Laughing at a sexual joke in a room full of adults doesn’t make you a jerk – but acting immature by blaming everything on everyone else does. So, do people see you as mature? Or do they see someone who needs to grow up? Here are some little things you might do that are making you look immature:
Instead Of Telling Someone You're Upset, You Talk About It With OthersConfrontation is not easy, but unfortunately, it's also a part of life. A huge sign of maturity is when you can tell someone when they've hurt you or made you angry without being too aggressive about it. A huge sign of immaturity, however, is when you talk to everyone else about it - except the actual person who did it. If you're someone who can NEVER start any kind of confrontation, but instead, you gossip about it and complain about it to everyone else, you seem immature. It shows that you can't stand up for yourself or communicate in a healthy way, and it's just not a good look. Similarly, if you can't confront the issue without subtweeting about it or starting a huge fight, that's also a sign of immaturity. Learn how to confront others in the right way, instantly look more grown up! Source: iStock
You Always Look Like You Just Got Out Of BedAppearances aren't everything, and of course your wardrobe alone doesn't make you mature or immature. However, there's no arguing the fact that looking put-together and chic makes you seem more mature than looking bummy. If you put two girls side by side, one wearing nice clothes that fit with their hair brushed and a little makeup on; one in sweatpants, slippers, with their hair in a messy bun... without knowing anything else about them, an outsider would assume the better dressed one is more mature. You don't need to spend a ton of money on clothes and accessories to look mature - you don't need to wear heels every day either. You just need to wear clothes that fit you will, and put a little bit of effort into your hair and skin. That's it! As you grow up, the days of wearing sweats everywhere dwindle down - it's just a fact of life. Source: iStock
You Lack Self-Control And Can't Stick To SomethingSelf-control is a difficult thing to come by for many people, and everyone is always going to have at least one thing that they feel like they have no control over. But a sign of immaturity is when you have zero self-control over literally anything. You can't say no to anyone, you always fall victim to peer pressure, you can never get yourself to do what needs to be done... these are big signs that you're not yet grown up. Adults know they have to wake up early and make sure they do even when they don't want to. Immature people say "eff it" and sleep late. See the difference? Source: iStock
You Can't Make Any Big Changes Or DecisionsPart of being mature and growing up is making tough decisions and dealing with changes, even when they're uncomfortable. A girl I know comes off as really immature because she can't push herself forward at all. She's scared to go learn how to drive, so she just never has - and instead relies on all of her friends to take her everywhere. She's stressed about school, and so took a few semesters off college. She can't make any decisions on her own, and it's very off-putting. Source: iStock
You Do Things Just To Make Your Parents AngryThe whole fighting with your parents over everything situation is very... immature. Parents are annoying and EVERYONE fights with them from time to time, but doing things to purposely make them angry, or going out of your way to do what they don't want you to do isn't a sign that you're grown up and know what you want. It's a sign that you're immature and can't respect your parents. Source: iStock
You Think You're Always The VictimPlaying the victim gets old fast - and it also makes you seem so immature. If you're always blaming everything on someone else, or if you always have some sort of excuse and you can never admit you're in the wrong, other people are going to think you're childish. Part of being mature is being able to admit when you did the wrong thing or that you made a mistake. A huge part of being mature is being able to take the blame. End of story.
You Go Out Of Your Way To Make Others JealousI know a lot of girls who try to get attention from crushes by flirting with other people. I also know a lot of girls who try to piss people off by making them jealous in some way, like fighting with your bestie and calling someone else your best friend. I used to do that stuff too. But playing games like that doesn't make you seem cool and above it all, it just makes you seem silly and childish and immature. Source: iStock
You Play Games When DatingSpeaking of playing games, doing so when dating is also a sign of immaturity. A mature person can communicate with the person they like or are hanging out with. An immature person plays hard to get until both parties are so confused they have no idea what's going on. Source: iStock
You Refuse To Learn Basic Life SkillsNot knowing how to do laundry or how to cook an egg because no one ever showed you isn't a crime and isn't necessarily a sign that you're immature. But actively refusing to learn how to do these things is definitely a sign that you need to get it together. If you're not interested in pushing yourself forward at all, then how can you possibly be a mature person? Source: iStock
You Don't Pay Attention To MannersGood manners are a sign of a mature person to most people, and they're so basic! If you can't say "thank you" and "please" and respect those who deserve it, then you don't seem grown up. Being rude and impolite for fun or as part of your ~attitude isn't cute. Source: iStock
You Think You're Always RightMature people know that they don't know everything. Immature people think that they do. If you're someone who can never ask for help, you refuse to accept constructive criticism, and you can't admit when you're wrong, then you seem like you have a lot of growing up to do. Source: iStock
You Don't Feel Happy For People Who Get What You WantedPart of being a good friend to someone is being happy and supportive of them - even if you don't really feel that way. For example: when one of my best friends got a job that I had really wanted, I was incredibly jealous. But acting that way and not congratulating her would have looked babyish and immature, so I decided to suck it up and pretend to be super for her. Sure, I felt jealous inside, but on the outside, I was a supportive best friend. That makes you seem more mature! Source: iStock
Which one of these immaturity signs do you disagree with? What did we forget to include?