We put a lot of stress on whether or not something is Facebook official, especially relationships. Switching your relationship status on Facebook from “Single” to “In A Relationship” (now complete with two cute photos of you guys) is definitely a hot button issue out there. Half of my friends insist on keeping your dating life off of the social media page, while others think a relationship isn’t truly real until you’ve announced it to your Facebook friends. I can see both sides of the argument, but at the end of the day, my thoughts are that you shouldn’t make your relationship Facebook official – ever. Hear me out!
A lot of our lives play out on the internet, and crafting little posts about bae are cute. But do y’all remember that video of a groom that went around a few years ago of him changing his Facebook status at the FREAKING altar? Do we need more of that in the world? Can we not? Declaring your love online isn’t the issue, it’s what comes with it. For whatever benefits you perceive will happen from making it Facebook official, there are definitely some drawbacks, too. Does it go up too soon? Too late? Are you ready for the full on digital press conference that’s about to go down in your comments section? Again – do you – but I’m here to tell you 15 reasons you shouldn’t make your relationship Facebook official.
1) Not everybody has to know your business.
A level of privacy is great, especially at the beginning of a relationship – it’s even beneficial. Once you’re already in it for more than six months, of course it won’t be news to anyone if you suddenly make it official, but in the beginning it feels like a lot of fanfare, and that can add a lot of pressure you don’t need in the beginning.
2) It turns your relationship into a press event.
Oh my god, the comments section of a new relationship post. It’s like the paparazzi descend and tell you how cute you two are and ask all of these questions when *ahem* you two are still getting to know each other. Jeez.
3) No matter what your privacy settings are, some one is going to make a big deal of it.
Yes, I know there are ways to have it switch to “in a relationship” without posting on your timeline or in your newsfeed, but it’s still on your profile. Just the right annoying person is going to pop out of nowhere and start the parade of comments.
4) It’s low key a little cheesy.
There’s nothing wrong with cheesy! If cheese isn’t your thing, maybe don’t do this.
5) There’s no expectation to be overly schmoopy with your posts.
The cool thing about everyone knowing who you’re dating is everyone deciding how you should behave on the internet towards the person you’re dating. Cool. (Sarcasm)
6) It actually makes your posts about them that much sweeter.
It feels more secretive and special when you do post about them, because not everyone knows you’re together. Mystery!
7) Having your new bae’s profile tied to yours is a little much.
Married people? I get it. Why is this person just one click away from mine? That box under yours is a little extra.
8) It gives you two some autonomy and space.
When you’re Facebook official and your boo has a different opinion than you on some political post or whatever, you’re going to have people offline (or online – gross) telling you to come in and correct your person. Excuse me, but aren’t we all different people with different thoughts? Just because you’re in a relationship with someone doesn’t mean you have to agree with literally everything they do or say. You are not responsible for bae’s shitty opinion anyway (unless it’s a topic that directly effects you in a negative way.)
9) It’s no big deal when you break up.
Break ups are hard enough. Switching your status back to single is going to suck. Right when you need space and for people to not ask a thousand questions, BAM – thanks, Facebook.
10) Facebook doesn’t define your relationship.
Let’s stop pretending that what happens on the internet doesn’t matter or it’s trivial. Most of us spend the majority of our days online – kids, grown ups, teenagers, all of us. Still, most of your relationship should be offline. Yes, it’s a nice gesture to recognize your boyfriend or girlfriend on your profile, but it’s not the be all end all of any relationship.
11) Stressing about a Facebook relationship is a trivial battle.
Your feelings are legitimate. If you’re stressing about them not wanting to make it Facebook official, chances are it’s not really about Facebook. Do you think they’re not proud to be with you? Do you think they’re not on the same page? Get to the root of what you’re feeling and have that conversation instead of picking a battle about Facebook.
12) Being Facebook official doesn’t make shitty relationships any better.
Some people decide to go public when they’re on the rocks and need something that’s overtly showy to make one partner feel better and more secure. It’s not a bandaid and it won’t fix your problems, no matter how much you think it will.
13) It’s not an indicator of your feelings or your level of seriousness about each other.
It’s clicking a few buttons. I could say I’m in a relationship with any one of my friends right now if we both click the same buttons. When you think about it, it literally doesn’t mean anything.
14) It doesn’t keep shady people from being shady.
A lot of the thought on making it Facebook official is that EVERYONE knows they’re in a relationship, so they’re less likely to cheat. I hate to admit it, but cheaters will cheat no matter what it says on their profiles. Sorry.
15) If you don’t show your status when you’re single, why change it when you’re in a relationship?
Is one inherently better than the other? Really think about your answer. Do you hate yourself a little for thinking what you just thought? Cool, thought so.
Is your relationship Facebook official? Is that important to you? Why? Let us know in the comments!
You can follow the author, Aliee Chan, on Twitter.