12 Ridiculous Pieces Of Penis-Shaped Jewelry You Actually Need

There are tons of interesting jewelry options out there. In addition to the usual gold and gemstone pieces, you can get yourself the waaaaay more affordable costume pieces, tattoo chokers, and bracelets made out of toothbrushes. If you’re feeling creative, you can DIY a pop can tab necklace or bracelets, or fashion something out of pasta. If you think those last two are different, you haven’t seen anything yet! There is actually jewelry out there that is inspired by penises. I’m not talking about cock rings or some fancy peen piercings, I’m talking about pieces of jewelry shaped like dicks. Yeah.

If you’re wondering, “Why would such a thing exist on this earth?” I am afraid I cannot give you an answer. Perhaps people thought that jewelry without dicks is totally basic. Maybe people loved peen so much that they decided the best way to show their infatuation was by wearing an ornamental penis around their neck or wrist. Maybe everyone got inspired by Kesha’s phallic jewelry line. I don’t know, and I’m not here to judge. If you want to wear an accessory shaped like a penis, go right ahead. If you don’t think that you could pull one off, even in an ironic way, but you still want to gaze at the creative ways people have turned penises into pieces of jewelry, you’ve come to the right spot. Take a look at 12 pieces of penis-shaped jewelry that you can actually buy.

Would you ever wear a piece of dick-shaped jewelry? Let us know in the comments!

You can follow the author, Heather Cichowski, on Twitter.


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