16 Of The Most Insane Things That Have Happened So Far In 2016

Here’s the thing: 2016 is broken. I am sorry if I am the one to break this to you, but facts are facts, and, as today’s preeminent tween journalist/detective/model/DJ/influencer, it is my duty to report only the facts.  Today, July 13th, in the year of our lord 2016 (the anniversary of the time Ariana Grande licked those donuts and caused a maelstrom nationwide!)

Today, the facts are as follows: 2016 is absolutely a catastrophe.

It doesn’t matter that it’s only a little bit over halfway through the year. It’s also not that anything in particular has happened today–EDIT: Calvin Harris just lost it, essentially, on Twitter regarding Taylor Swift and his bid for Song of Summer 2016, “This Is What You Came For.” So there you go–it’s just that everything about 2016 seems fake, somehow, like we are in a virtual reality simulation of society that has recently started experiencing some internal software issues. Discounting the really and truly terrible parts of 2016–i.e. everything that happened last week–there’s the election.

It all seems fake, is what I am saying. I would write this at the end of the year, of course, but it is very possible that we will submerged in  the throes of an international crisis ,or, at the very least, submerged under actual water due to melting ice caps and an overall disregard for climate change. So. Check out the most insane things that have happened so far in 2016 that prove the year is broken:

1. The Oregon Militia:


OH, DID YOU FORGET ABOUT THE OREGON MILITIA STANDOFF? Don’t worry. We didn’t.
 


2. Damn Daniel:


 

3. Some MONSTERS threw VEGETABLES in the toilet of a public high school:


 


4. Those problematic AF Kanye tweets:


 


5. Those grandkids who didn’t eat burgers with Papaw :(


 

6. Chewbacca lady terrorized us all:


 

7. The alt right sorta-kinda entered the mainstream, to disastrous results:


 

8. Ted Cruz was forced to drop out of the 2016 election after it was revealed that he is the Zodiac Killer:


 

9. Donald Trump…continued to exist:


 

10. Hillary Clinton told him to delete his account:


 

11. Scott Disick got confused:


 


12. Jacob Sartorius became…a thing:


 


13. Brexit happened, throwing the EU into turmoil:


 

14. And, in other portmanteau news, there was Hiddleswift:


 


15. Pokemon Go ruined everyone’s life:


 

16. And, finally, this woman printed off Facebook comments and read them on the subway. Amazing!

What are your thoughts on 2016? Did I miss any of its insanity? Let us know in the comments!

You can reach the author, Sara Hendricks, on Twitter and Instagram.

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