Late last week, Pokémon Go–which, if you are somehow unfamiliar, is an interactive smartphone game that allows you to catch Pokémon in the wild–was released. In regards to the game, I can tell you this much: it has absolutely ruined my life.
I usually put a personal embargo on smartphone games, seeing as my naturally obsessive and addictive personality makes it so that I turn into a literal Grendel whenever I allow myself to play one–I don’t remember much from my Kim Kardashian: Hollywood summer of 2014, but I do know that everyone who knew me at that time still holds a grudge against me–but I had to make an exception for Pokémon Go. Everyone is playing it! You get to catch actual Pokémon! It’s an easy way to start a conversation with someone without bringing up the hit musical Hamilton!
Anyway, everyone else’s life appears to be ruined by Pokémon Go, too (and I’m not just talking about that girl who found a dead body in a river whilst searching for Pokémon!). Check out these perfect Twitter reactions to the entire Pokémon Go experience:
1. Don’t expect your dates to be “present” or “with you” for the next few months
When youre on a date and hes catching Pokemons pic.twitter.com/38joThu5p1
— Patricia Gautier ✨ (@NatyPatty) July 10, 2016
2. It’s tearing local businesses apart:
— James Bartholomeou (@Iyagovos) July 8, 2016
I ain't wanna catch him cuz I already got one so we just took pics with him lol pic.twitter.com/07KROOlEWY
— Michael Christmas (@MickeyChristmas) July 7, 2016
4. What is 2016?
gotta catch em all pic.twitter.com/1KEjblgE7k
— Four Pins (@Four_Pins) July 9, 2016
5. No, really–what is it?
i hope u like brusel sprouts u garbage lizard pic.twitter.com/S9N3tI1PPv
— jomny sun (@jonnysun) July 9, 2016
6. Is it even 2016?
S&P at an all-time high
Unemployment under 5%
Oil under $50
Blink 182 album at #1
Pokémon is the #1 game
1999 is BACK
— Patrick Traughber (@ptraughber) July 11, 2016
7. No. It isn’t:
Parents in the 90s: Pokémon is just a fad. You'll get bored with it when you get older.
— JuanPa (@jpbrammer) July 11, 2016
Everyone driving around looking for Pokemon be like pic.twitter.com/A8Heb4EEpk
— The Office Tweets (@DavidWallaceCFO) July 11, 2016
9. How many kids in the future will be named “Pikachu,” do you think?
SON: how did u and mom meet
ME: we were gathered under the same lure module in union square on the hunt for pikachu
— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) July 11, 2016
Is this a Pokemon pic.twitter.com/qrf259M0Fr
— nicolette mason (@nicolettemason) July 10, 2016
11. (Don’t play Pokémon Go and drive, by the way):
when you see a pikachu but you're on the highway pic.twitter.com/QficnWNNAK
— PokemonGo™ (@CatchEmAlI) July 11, 2016
12. (Or fall prey to predatory vans):
— Common White Girl (@girlposts) July 11, 2016
13. Life is tough. Life is hard:
— Tumblr Things (@tumblrthings) July 11, 2016
Okay they took the Pokemon game way too seriouspic.twitter.com/Q0FVUn3MFI
— WORLD STAR FANS (@WorIdStarLaugh) July 11, 2016
COP: Know why I stopped you?
"Cuz there's a Pokemon in my car?"
COP: [holding up phone] Yes.
— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) July 11, 2016
Pokémon Go players are going to put the ultimate strain on If You See Something, Say Something™ culture.
— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) July 11, 2016
17. Two birds, one stone?
— Pokemon GO! (@iPokemonGO) July 11, 2016
18. Here’s some poetry:
it was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of the self RT, it was the age of Pokémon Go, it was the epoch of daddy
— eve peyser (@evepeyser) July 11, 2016
19. LITERAL LOL:
Tumblr thinks going outside to play Pokemon Go is the equivalent of hiking on the wilderness for a week pic.twitter.com/KdEQeCITXe
— Alex Diniz (@alexdnz) July 9, 2016
Pokemon Go is a stealth part of Michelle Obama's plot to make us go outside
— Vann R. Newkirk II (@fivefifths) July 9, 2016
Are you playing Pokemon Go? Which of these tweets was your fave? Let us know in the comments!