Pettiness–which, if you aren’t familiar, is basically the act of being spiteful towards someone for no reason in particular–seems to have been having a massive resurgence in acceptance and popularity as of late. People tweet about being petty.Write Tumblr posts about it. Admit that nearly everything they do is petty. Is this a good thing? I don’t know! While I am obviously the type to encourage drama in all respects–after all, I live for it–there are times when it can go too far. Like, there’s Real Housewives petty–fun!–and then there’s Gone Girl petty. Not so fun.
Still, no matter how you feel about being petty in general, being a general feeling of pettiness towards exes–or, really, anyone who has ever spurned you romantically–is something that most people can relate to. Who among us hasn’t experienced that very specific revenge fantasy that involves absolutely slaying a particularly vengeful song from the hit musical Hamilton at the school talent show, finishing it to thunderous applause, and looking out into the audience to find that every ex, unrequited crush, and anyone who has ever spurned you over the past few years is watching in the audience with mouths agape, hearts throbbing with reinvigorated love, and arms ready to go to fisticuffs over your affections only so you can say, “No violence, please–it’s too late and I have moved on,” and waltz off into the night with Zayn Malik, who has been waiting there the whole time to whisk you away? (Just me?)
In any case, being petty towards exes is most likely the most potent pettiness bug of all. And, thankfully, the internet has been here to document its best cases. Is it petty to enjoy it? Probably! But why deny yourself such a simple pleasure? Check out the pettiest things people have done to their exes here:
1. Spoiled every episode of Game of Thrones, just because:
— Elena Cresci (@elenacresci) May 23, 2016
2. Ruined their chances at becoming a lawyer:
3. Transformed them into Beyonce:
4. Texted them this:
5. And this:
6. Left them stranded them on the toilet for the forseeable future:
7. Sent them the lyrics to “Hello,” which were…misinterpreted:
8. Towed their prized vintage car (fair, tbh):
— Daily Mail Celebrity (@DailyMailCeleb) June 21, 2016
9. Made this devastating switch in their contact list:
10. Orchestrated a massive breakup amongst all of their exes at once:
all of Joe Jonas' ex girlfriends broke up with their boyfriends in the same week pic.twitter.com/fBsdxuNJ9Y
— Common White Girl (@girlposts) June 4, 2016
11. Pitted one popstar ex against a new popstar fling. Relatable!
Would you ever do any of these things? Which one was your fave? Let us know in the comments!
Follow Gurl, Pretty Please!