10 Popular Girl Code Rules It’s Actually Okay To Break

Girl code, for those of you who don’t know, refers to these sacred, unspoken rules about female friendship that basically keep the world spinning. Break these rules, and you’re bound to be shunned by all other females forever. I say, screw that. Despite what movies, books, and other friends may want you to believe, there are some girl code rules it’s totally okay to break. Really. Think about it. Did we all sign some paperwork after reviewing a contract upon identifying as female? No? Cool. Then these are more suggestions than hard and fast rules. They’re in place for a reason – they keep you from being an asshole, encourage you to be a good friend, and clue you in to social cues. We all need those. But, curtailing your behavior and accommodating your girl friends because you’re both girls and… that’s it…. is silly.

Female friendships are important. They keep you sane and grounded. Breaking a girl code rule could feel like the ultimate betrayal of everything you’ve known about having girl friends. Don’t sweat it. These things are only big deals because we make them big deals. This isn’t encourage you to espouse being *~Not Like Other Girls~* (no one likes that), but maybe consider the exceptions to these rules. Nothing in life is so black and white, including the Girl Code. I know the first rule of Girl Code is don’t talk about Girl Code, but it’s time to get real. Let’s examine them a little closer, shall we? Personally, I think these 10 girl code rules can stand to be broken. Or at least forgiven, you know?


You Can Never Date A Friend's Ex, No Matter What

This one is a little controversial, but let's discuss it anyway. There are certain times it's definitely not okay to go for a friend's ex, and certain times it is definitely okay. Some questions to consider: Was it a one time hook up? Was it years and years ago? Unless either of them seriously messed up and it was an ugly break up, as long as they have both moved on and you have your friend's explicit admission that she no longer has feelings for him or the past, go for it. Seriously. I have friends who've dated the other person's ex from a previous serious relationship and everyone's alright with it. It's possible. Of course, it's not preferable, but in some cases, it can work.

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You Can't Go After Someone Your Friend Has Dibbs On

One more time with feeling: you can't stake claim on another human being like they're property. Whether your friend has a crush on this person or they've just called dibbs, if your friend has remained decidedly and inactive on purpose for over a month, the crush moves into fair game. However, proper etiquette in this case requires that you let her know that you're about to go after this person so it doesn't appear shady or deceitful. Let her know that she's dragging her feet, so unless she has real plans to make a move, you're going to.

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If A Girl Gives You A Compliment, You Must Return The Favor

Girls complimenting girls is awesome. Fight the girl hate we're all supposed to have and support your fellow girls. Right? Here's the thing: when you recieve a compliment, it isn't your job to compliment that person back. It's okay to just say thank you and move on with your life. If you genuinely feel like complimenting her, go ahead, but it's not a requirement. You aren't being a Bad Woman for reciprocating all kindness in turn. Just saying thank you can count as reciprocation, too. Also, trying to find a compliment on the spot, if it isn't genuine, feels super awkward, too.

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Always Be Brutally Honest With Your Friends

Little white lies are okay. You aren't going to like all of her fashion choices because you two have different tastes. You aren't going to think her bae is 100 percent awesome because you're attracted to different people. Let her be confident and sure in her choices. If it's not for you, that's none of her business. Don't let her walk around with stuff in her teeth and let her know if she's making a weird life choice, but the small things you can let go. Why bother? Honesty is always the best policy, but brutal honesty is a whole other game.

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Never Talk Behind Someone's Back

Don't talk shit. Gossiping about your best friend isn't okay. However, sometimes the small things that irk you are just that - extra small. They aren't worth bringing up to your friend because you don't want to sound petty or like you just want to start drama. In those cases, it's okay to bring it up to a mutual bff and say something like, "this is happening, is that weird or am I over reacting?" Friendship is a team sport and you aren't doing this alone. Trust that this third party will tell you the truth about whether or not it's worth the confrontation or if you should let it go. Sometimes seeking an outside opinion is totally necessary.

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You Have To Hate Who Your Friend Hates

Um, no. Your friend has a falling out with another person and that means you have to hate this person even if they did nothing to you? False. Of course, your allegience is always going to be with your bestie - that's obvious. But you don't have to go so far as to write off this other person altogether unless they've seriously hurt your friend and effected them in a large way. Her abusive asshole ex? Hate him. That girl who was mean to her that one time and now she sucks? Whatever. It doesn't matter. It takes a lot of energy to hate someone, are you sure it's worth it? You aren't being a bad friend by refusing to hate someone the way she does.

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Never Buy The Same Thing Your Friend Has

Sometimes you have a friend who's a different size than you so borrowing clothes isn't an option. Your friend doesn't have claim on the same cute skirt. Buy the skirt, who cares? If you're worried about being cheesy and accidentally wearing it at the same time, send her a warning text and let her know you're wearing it so you don't accidentally match. Even if you show up wearing the same thing, it's not the end of the world. Rock it together. You both have good taste. Is it the worst thing in the world?

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Support All Of Her Life Choices, No Matter How Questionable

Cutting all of her hair off after a bad break up? Texting a known f-ck boy? Nope. Always be supportive of your friend's hobbies, be there for her after a break up, and get her out of sticky situations you would also want to be rescued from, but supporting literally ALL of her life choices kind of makes you a bad friend. You're looking out for her best interests, right? Not everything is going to be a good decision, especially when you're caught up in the moment. It's your job as a friend to keep her impulses in check and remind her to make the better choice.

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All Serious Conversations Had Between You Two Are Strictly Confidential

Use your best judgement on this one. Is your friend in danger? In cases of eating disorders, self harm, or abusive relationships, it's best to tell someone who can get her the help she needs. Sometimes you can't help your friend or be there for her in the capacity that she needs because it may require a professional or outside intervention. We all want to help our friends and keep her secrets because we're loyal and not ass holes, but in some cases, you have to tell someone, even if she asks you not to.

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All Bathroom Trips Are Group Participation Events

Real talk: sometimes you need to poop and you'd rather not do it in front of your friend. If your friend wants you to come with her, she'll ask, but sometimes people like to go to the bathroom alone. For obvious reasons. Enough said.

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What girl code rules do you follow? Which ones do you break? Do you disagree with any of these suggestions? Let us know in the comments!

You can follow the author, Aliee Chan, on Twitter.

 

 


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