12 Women Reveal The Most Embarrassing Times They Failed At Being Sexy

There are some people out there who make being sexy look easy and effortless. But make no mistake: for most of us, being sexy, or at least feeling like you’re being sexy, is a serious struggle. This is because too many of us try too hard to be sexy, when true sexiness is something you’re exuding probably without even realizing it – corny, yes, but also true. Taking cues from celebrities, movies, books, magazines, and even porn can lead to a fake sexiness that doesn’t just feel awkward… it actually ends up being awkward. Trying to be sexy can easily lead to some seriously cringe-worthy moments, the kind that you push out our head until it’s 1AM on a weekday and you’re trying to sleep and your brain decides to make you feel awful about all of your life choices. But anyway.

Every person out there has a story about an embarrassing time they completely failed at being sexy. It doesn’t matter if you have the confidence of a thousand Kardashian sisters or if you’re super popular and everyone calls you gorgeous – it happens, and if you say it never has, you’re lying. The good news is that, despite feeling like you want to set yourself on fire in the moment, true sexiness is about being able to laugh these things off and keep going. Not only do moments like these make real life intimacy more real and more like a bonding experience, they also lead to funny stories to share with friends, or maybe the Internet, later on. Worth it? Pretty much. If you need a laugh, read these stories from this Ask Reddit thread on women who reveal the most embarrassing times they failed at being sexy. See? It’s not just me you!

She Let Go A Little Too Much...

YOUMADEABEAR: I was having stupid drunk sex with my ex-boyfriend and I was on top. He grabbed a hold of my rib cage with both hands, close to my armpits and it tickled SO much. I told him to stop, but he didn't and I just peed. Peed all over him. Yep...

Source: iStock

He Found Toilet Paper In The Wrong Spot

nintendoinnuendo: My fiance once stopped sex to pick toilet paper lint out of my buttcrack... A very sexy moment indeed

Source: iStock

His Penis Moved A Little Too Much

snowlights: One time during a blow job he was doing a little thrusting and I guess he closed his eyes and lost aim because I got his weiner ramming into my nose. I couldn't stop laughing, just rolling around on the bed trying not to cry from laughing so hard. He wasn't really sure what happened because he didn't see it and I couldn't even get the words out.

Source: iStock

She Couldn't Stop Queefing

three-dog: I could NOT stop queefing. It made me laugh which made me queef even harder. Saying "that wasn't a fart, it was my vagina" did not make it less awkward. At all.

Source: iStock

She Totally Failed At Dirty Talk

reddingwells: We were doing netflix and chill before it was a thing. I had randomly selected an episode from this crime series as background noise. I'm god awful at dirty talk and the whole time was desperately trying to think of sexy things to say. Thats when I hear from the TV something like "so-and-so is a wanted sexual predator" and I blurted out " You're a sexual predator!". he just stopped, and laughed and asked "what?" and i tried to explain my train of thought "predator...like a lion...you're an animal in bed?". We had to take a break because he was laughing too hard.

Source: iStock

Her Strip Tease Didn't Go As Planned

GasMaskQueen: I was giving an ex boyfriend a strip tease when I was 16. Tripped on my underwear, fell and smashed my head into the wall. His mother knocked on the door and asked if everything was alright because the noise didn't sound "healthy".

Source: iStock

She Got A Little Confused

onwardsaioshima: The first time I had sex with my boyfriend I was so worried about doing dirty talk right I accidentally said, "I feel so good inside you."

Source: iStock

She Was A Little Too Strong

smunchyblue: Tried to do the "grab him by the front of his shirt and kiss him real hard" thing. Ended up doing the "grab him by the front of his shirt and oh god oh no did I really rip out that much chest hair oh nooo" thing instead.

Source: iStock

She Didn't Know Where His Penis Was

[deleted]: As a high school kid, I was once making out with my boyfriend in the back seat of his car in a parking lot when I felt something hard in his pants pressing into me. I started stroking it until he cut me off with "That's my wallet".

Source: iStock

She Burped At The Worst Time

notevenremotely: During my first kiss, which I had instigated by asking all coyly why we hadn't kissed yet, I burped. I burped right down his throat. That's a fact I have to carry for the rest of my life. To his benefit, we kept going after I said sorry.

Source: iStock

She Couldn't Stop Laughing

Drakkanrider: My bf was going down on me once and it was cold so he had wrapped himself up in my comforter, which was extremely purple at the time. Suddenly I remembered that stupid song about flying purple people eaters and I started cracking up so hard he had to stop and ask me what was going on, and it took me a bit to be able to explain.

Source: iStock

She Gave Him A Nose Bleed

emilyadelaide: We were heading into the bedroom for sex and I took my ponytail out and flicked my hair back in what I thought was an extremely alluring manner. Right up until I headbutted him right in the nose. His nose bled, I saw stars. Mood destroyed.

Source: iStock

Which one of these stories did you think was the most embarrassing? What’s your embarrassing trying to be sexy moment? Share in the comments!

You can follow the author, Jessica Booth, on Twitter or Instagram.

Follow Gurl, Pretty Please!
Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest, and Instagram

Posted in: Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,