Ask A Guy: Do Guys Ever Like Tomboys As More Than A Friend?

Hey Joel,​

I’m a tomboy and I am really good friends with a lot of guys. I’ve asked my girl friends if they know anyone who likes me but they say the guys only see me as a friend. I’m going into high school next year and I’m afraid I won’t get asked to any of the dances. How can I make the guys see me as not just a friend?


Before we even dig into the type of guys you’re in school with or the dances next year, let’s get one thing straight: NEVER compromise who you are. N-E-V-E-R. There isn’t a guy on the planet worth pretending to be someone you’re not.

You seem to have a negative tone when you call yourself a tomboy, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Ronda Rousey covered this far better than me, and even if you’re not an MMA fighter, idea and spirit she gets at still applies. Be you to the max, and trust that an amazing guy will dig that!

Now, when it comes to the guys around you, remember that they’re not the only guys on the planet. So often, you’re just surrounded by similar guys because of your neighborhood. In high school, most guys want to fit in and feel cool, so most of them stay away from being anything individual. Once you’re out of high school, the pool of guys becomes much larger, and there will be plenty of guys into exactly who you are. Quality guys are always looking for someone who is confident in who they are, so don’t for a second think that the way you are is somehow wrong or not completely right.

Insofar as not having a date for dances, understand that high school is when friends often turn into more-than-friends as hormones start raging. There’s also nothing wrong with going to dances with guys as friends, or even going with a group of girls as friends. It’s not like high school has an exact one-to-one ratio for dates, so don’t stress and know that there are many options for dance dates aside from some guy you’re seeing.

In short: be proud of who you are, and don’t stress over getting the approval of random guys at your high school. Just be you, and plenty of guys will want to have you on their arm at dances and beyond!

Best wishes,


Joel Freimark has done a lot in life and seen even more. From last minute international travel to bizarre places to writing award winning books, he’s here to bring his wisdom to all your problems. He hosts a weekly advice series on Youtube and a music series also on YouTube. No question is too outrageous or personal, so go ahead and fire away! Follow him on Twitter.

Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Joel, email him at!

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