12 Vintage Ads You Won’t Believe Are About Smelly Vaginas

Advertising feels so fake and frivolous, but ads often give us an inside peak on what our society values. We see ads featuring luxury cars on long, open roads because we value adventure and freedom. We see ads of women with thin waists and thigh gaps selling underwear because we value largely unattainable body types. We see ads featuring perfect nuclear families because our society values heteronormativity and the perfect “set” of kids. Do you know what else this society values? Vaginas that smell awesome.

At least, it used to. I know this because there are a ton of old school ads out there that are entirely dedicated to making women feel self-conscious about the way their vaginas smell, and there were loads of products dedicated to making your vagina cleaner and more odor-free than a freshly mopped floor. I say freshly mopped because Lysol was literally one of the items that was sold for feminine “hygiene” purposes. YES, DOUCHING WITH LYSOL DISINFECTANT. I’m not kidding. You can see that and more in this round up of 12 vintage ads you won’t believe are about smelly vaginas.


Emo Vagina

"Too late to cry out in anguish!" Is that a My Chemical Romance lyric or a tag line for Lysol's douching product?

Almost Perfect

This wife did everything for her ingrate of a husband, except make her vagina smell like a perfectly mopped floor. What a disappointment.

Fields Of Vag

Nothing says sad about a smelly vagina quite like sitting in a beautiful field.

Friends Forever

You know, friends talk about each other behind their backs all the time. Usually, it's not about them having a stank vagina which is keeping them from gettin' a man. Yikes.

Um...

The fact that this woman is literally begging for her husband to come back, promising that she'll douche, is beyond sad.

Wife Troubles

I love how he's trying to figure out how to break the news to his wife: Your vagina doesn't smell like roses, it's over.

Oddly Spooky?

Am I the only one who thinks this is way too ominous for an add about underwear powder? Is this a noir film or what?

EVERYBODY'S PROBLEM

Nothing about my vagina is everybody's problem. Period. My vagina, my issues.

Teddy Bears?

You're not a little girl anymore, so you better start worrying about how your vagina smells because...because men, that's why. Men.

Stoic Vaginas

Seriously, look at how intense their gazes are. They're ready to defeat vaginal odor right here, right now.

Intimate Odor

This is like...an ad for a weapon of mass destruction. Just, mass destruction on your vagina.

Ummm...

Honestly, I'm disturbed by the prospect of talking undies, especially if they're talking you know what about my vagina's PH.

Which of these vintage ads do you think is the most ridiculous? Tell us in the comments!

You can follow the author, Ashley Reese, on Twitter or Instagram. Don’t worry, she doesn’t bite!

 

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