Even the most outgoing natural flirt has to admit that first dates are difficult (unless, of course, you end up going on a first date with your soul mate and everything just clicks immediately and is roses and fireworks the entire time. Is that even a real thing?!). Conversation is usually forced, you might feel self-conscious, and it could even feel a little bit like a job interview. Giving yourself a few guidelines as to what to say and do can help take the pressure off a little bit – feeling more prepared might soothe any first date jitters. You don’t want to go home at the end of the night wondering if you said the right thing or if you made the kind of impression you wanted. That’s why there are some things you should avoid doing at all costs.
Honesty and openness are very important in relationships, but you have to think of the first date as different than a relationship. It might feel deceitful, but you do have to put your best foot forward. Why? Because like you, the other person is going into the date a little wary. Perhaps they’ve been burned in the past, so they have their feelers out for any sign that this isn’t right. Your job is to avoid sending off any of those alarms. “Uh oh. It looks like she’s still in love her ex. I’m out of here!”
According to this Reddit thread, here are the ten things you want to avoid doing at all costs when going on a first date:
Being Above-It-AllOutlandishManners: "Being too pretentious or condescending." honeyfloss: "Along this note - correcting your date constantly. ESPECIALLY if it's you bluffing to sound smarter than you are, and/or it's your date's field of expertise." For some of us, resorting to a standoffish demeanor can be a defensive mechanism when we're feeling uncomfortable (like on a first date). If you know that's your go-to, actively try to avoid acting like you're too good for everything. Source: iStock
Laying It All Out Therefunzo1031: "A flow chart of your sexual needs/expectations." While it's great to be open about your sexual needs and preferences, the first date might not be the right atmosphere for it. Try to focus on getting to know the other person without making it all about sex right away. Source: iStock
Being On Your Phonetuskvarner: "Looking at your phone. Don't even touch it for the entire time that you are with the person. For the first couple dates really." It's hard. I know it's hard. But put your phone away and don't look at it for the entire date. You can do it! This person has taken the time out of their day to get to know you, so you should show them the same kind of respect. Source: iStock
Too Much Too SoonBacon_Hero: "Opening up too much. A first date is a test for compatibility. They don't need to know your deepest intricacies, and they probably don't want to yet." When we're nervous, we tend to talk just to talk. Sometimes we can end up "spilling the beans" a little too early in the relationship. Give the other person a chance to get to know you before you lay everything out there. Source: iStock
Being Latehaffbaked:"Don't be late! If something does hold you up, let the other person know so they aren't just waiting around wondering if you'll show." Think of it a little like a job interview- being late is the "kiss of death". Show that you respect this other person's time by showing up when you agreed to. Source: iStock
Talking About Other DatesConstableBlimeyChips: "Telling them you can only stay for three hours tops because you have another date starting at 10 o'clock." In today's online dating world, it's likely you have a few dates lined up a week. But don't talk about it- that's just rude! Source: iStock
Complainingbolognahole: "Complaining about anything. A first date should be fun." Send out those positive vibes so that the other person associates you with feeling good about life. Source: iStock
Making It AwkwardDroppedOutSkater: "Asking someone why they're being so quiet when they pause in conversation for a minute. It only serves to make things awkward and really, people don't have to be talking constantly just to fill the silence to be having a good time." First dates are awkward enough without pointing out how the other person is doing in the conversation department. Source: iStock
Ex TalkProf_Insultant: "Talking about your ex." plax1780: "So many people go immediately to badgering their ex as an icebreaker, and that's the worst." AVOID ANY KIND OF EX TALK AT ALL COSTS! Source: iStock
Bringing Up KidsNichtDeutsch88: "Talking about your future children" While you definitely should talk about what you want for your future with someone you're dating, don't do it on the first date. Don't talk about marriage, kids, or what you want your vacation home to look like in twenty years. Live in the moment! Source: iStock
Have you had any bad first-date experiences? Let me know in the comments below!