As a straight woman, I know that looking for signs that a guy likes me can be pretty tough – and I generally think guys are easy to read. I also know that looking for signs a girl wants to be my friend (AKA likes me in a platonic way) can be pretty tough. What I’m trying to say is that I can’t imagine what it must be like to be a queer girl looking for signs that a girl likes other girls. I have no idea how women who identify on the LGBTQ spectrum know that other women are also bisexual or gay. I’ve always imagined that it was just some sort of vibe that I’m unable to pick up on, but maybe there’s something more there.
This curiosity about how lesbian women know someone else is a lesbian led me to my interest in this Ask Reddit thread, where one Reddit user asks queer ladies how they know another woman is queer. The answers showed me what I kind of suspected: queer women, just like straight women, don’t know all the signs. As it turns out, we’re all blundering about, trying to figure out whether someone is flirting with you in an “I-want-to-make-out-with-you” sort of way, or if they’re flirting with you in an “I’m-just-overly-friendly” sort of way… or if they’re not flirting with you at all. Fun! That said, there are some ways you might be able to tell if a girl is into other females. Here, 10 queer ladies reveal how to know if a girl likes girls:
Short Fingernailsmynamesbartsimpson: Girls who are into girls generally have shorter fingernails. Cause, you know, getting fingered by a claw would f***** suck. Well... that makes sense! Source: iStock
See If They Flirt BackSnowverrated: I flirt with everyone, and if they flirt back I take it as a sign. Usually straight girls pull out really early and just say they're straight. In other words, I assume everyone is into me until proven otherwise Pretty straightforward! Most of the time you can tell if someone is flirting with you or not. Source: iStock
What They're Interested Inisahead: So, I tend to just get a vibe (which is probably just a number of subtle signs that I can't fully articulate, but strung together ping my subconscious as queer). Androgynous looking or androgynous dressing girls, hipster girls, ladies who tend to never dress in a way a guy would find sexy (like, club sexy), women who identify as feminists, women who work on/care very much about/ display work by queer artists like Frida Khalo, Virginia Woolf, Georgia O'Keeffee, women who bring up/care deeply about/display art on lesbian or queer characters in pop culture, women who tend to be assertive and not change their speech pattern when they're talking to men vs when they're talking to women, women who have shaved their head in their teens (esp. if it's not for a charity), women who use "they" instead of "him" when talking about a past partner, women who use 'partner' or 'significant other' instead of 'boyfriend' when talking about a potential SO. I know that this is a long list of stereotypes, but some of these traits might ping for you. It helps when I mention a crush on a girl/ or some girl I thought was gorgeous, outing myself. These can sound like stereotypes, but for some queer women, they're apparently helpful. Source: iStock
How She Looksqueeertrash: Typically, i check out her physical aspects. Is her hair short? (obviously I'm not saying that all queer women have short hair, its just a general observation.) does she have colored hair? (blues, reds, purples ect.) Are her nails short? (actually pretty common.) whats she wearing? (pants! Check out her pants.) What kind of shoes is she wearing? (generally a lot of lesbians will be wearing vans or converse or sneakers.) Also even piercings and tattoos can give away a queer girl. Just little things. This answer is interesting, if not frustrating. Not all bisexual or lesbian women look the same! Source: iStock
Their Body Languagemmwhatchasayy: I honestly don't feel like there's any good way to tell except for paying attention to their body language. Maybe I'd try to figure out ways to drop the hint without ending in an awkward rejection. Or maybe take those rejections with grace and in stride. I mean, they happen no matter who you're attracted to. Might as well smile and let them roll off your shoulders. In that same vein, maybe it's best to open with something like that. That way, you don't start pining too soon. Man oh man, do I know about pining too soon. Pay attention to the way someone leans towards you, or away from you. Check out the eye contact situation. Pay attention to their tone of voice. Stuff like that! Source: iStock
Their Reaction When You Say You Like GirlsBlueBerryJazz: I just mention that I date women and keep conversing. Usually they'll eventually mention exactly where they are on the spectrum. This takes days, though. You never know if the other person is studying you just as much, trying to figure out if YOU like girls too. Just say what your sexuality is, if you're comfortable with that, and then see how they react. Source: iStock
You Feel The Vibefartingxfarts: It's just a vibe I get. It's hard cuz sometimes straight women flirt, too. I have no idea really, I need proof. Is this helpful? No, but it was a popular answer, and so it means something! Source: iStock
Their Social Media ProfilesRollAWillSave: I ask if they're on social media. If they are I read their profile. If their profile doesn't say then I jokingly ask about that in a list of other things that They didn't mention. Doing a little social stalking online can definitely be helpful in figuring out if a girl likes other girls. If you can find her, look her up! Source: iStock
How They Talk About Menfallintospace09: I try to drop the fact that i dig ~~the ladies~~ into conversation and see how they react or just notice how they talk about men. I don't really know most of the time before talking to them somehow or meeting them on the internet. Bring up something about guys to see how they react. It might not be foolproof, but it could be helpful. Source: iStock
No Idea!MlleWeirdo: I have no sense whatsoever of which direction someone swings. I can't even tell when people are flirting with me... So I just remain silent, unnoticed and single until I meet someone online with a profile that states their interests. Just because you aren't straight doesn't mean you can pick out every non-straight person out there! Just something to remember, guys. Source: iStock
Which one of these do you agree with? What do you disagree with? What are other signs a girl likes girls? Tell me in the comments.