8 Surprising Things That Happen The First Time You Have Sex

Despite what the movies and books say, your first time having sex isn’t the most important moment of your life. How you lose your virginity does not determine the rest of your sexual endeavors, your love life, or even how your second time having sex will go down. This is the real world – there are situations in between the picture perfect romantic evening and the so-awkward-it’s-funny LOL encounter. Your first time could happen in your own bed, or you could end up losing your virginity next to a corn field or in a Superman costume. What? It happens! Although some people have romantic stories about losing their v-card, many people have embarrassing and hilarious stories. That’s because some surprising things happen the first time you have sex, and you usually have little control over them.

Even if your first time is planned out – who, what, where, when – there are still going to be elements of surprise. Of course, you can prepare ahead of time (buy condoms!) but no one can tell you exactly what’s going to happen. Fortunately, we’ve compiled some of the most common surprises so you can expect the unexpected. But remember: your first time isn’t your only time, and however it happens, it doesn’t define you. Just try to relax, have fun, and enjoy whatever story you get out of it. And remember: funny stories are always more fun to tell than romantic ones.

Your Hymen Doesn't Break The Way You Think It Does

People talk about losing your virginity as if it's a physical object. There's no real "cherry to pop" - your hymen is not like a chastity belt that snaps as soon as a penis enters your vagina. The hymen is just tissue that can tear during sexual intercourse - hence the possible bleeding - but has likely been tearing little by little your entire life. Ridden a bike? Done gymnastics? Used tampons? Your hymen has been stretching all along. "Breaking it" when you lose your virginity isn't the monumental occasion it sounds like.

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It Might Not Feel Good

Sex is supposed to be fireworks and waves of pleasure and shooting stars right? Honestly, probably not the first time. Even though we're physically designed for intercourse, letting a foreign object enter your body for the first time is a pretty weird sensation. Even if you've had sex a million times, doing it for the first time with a new partner always takes a little adjusting. Ride it out (pun kind of intended) and remember, there is a learning curve. You will figure out what you like and how to make it feel good.

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You Could Get Attached

Sure, it sounds like a cliche, but sex can be a very emotional experience—whether it's your first time or your fiftieth. You don't connect that closely on a physical level with most people in your life, so it's no mystery that doing so can cause feelings to crop up that might not have been there before. Explore your feelings and make the right decisions for your heart and your head, not just your body.

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Nothing Visibly Changes

I remember that I expected to look in the mirror and actually notice a difference. I thought I would walk around and friends and family would point and say, "You lost your virginity!" Alas, this is not the case. No one will make you wear a scarlet A on your chest after you have sex for the first time (or ever, for that matter, because it's 2016). If you want to share your experience with someone, confide in a friend or family member you trust. But trust me, no one can look at you and know your hymen is "broken."

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There May Be Blood

You've probably heard this before, but it can still be surprising when you find yourself actually bleeding in your first physical act of intimacy. Fortunately, it's not the heavy flow of the first day of your period—it's more like you're spotting toward the end of the week. If you're with someone who cares about you, they won't be scared by a little bit of extra bodily fluid.

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You Won't Know What You're Doing

You can't expect to be an expert at anything the first time you do it. No one sits down at a piano and immediately busts out Mozart. If you're with someone who is experience, they can teach you. If you're with someone who's not, you can learn together! Plus, everyone has different preferences in bed. It's all about learning what your body likes, and you have to start somewhere.

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There May Not Be A Happy Ending

Yes, I'm talking about the big O. If your first time doesn't result in climax, there is nothing wrong with you. It's not just a first time phenomenon, either: as much as 80% of women do not achieve orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. It's still worth trying—you know what they say, practice makes perfect!

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You Might Get Shy

You're done with the heavy breathing, bodily fluids, and weird noises, so you might think the awkward part is over. Then you realize you're buck naked and every move you made was an experiment. Hopefully your partner is sensitive to your mood and can help alleviate any awkward tension. If you need some personal space, take it. You don't need to do rounds 2 and 3 today.

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Which one of these things happened to you the first time you had sex? Are you still a virgin? Talk about it in the comments!


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