There are two types of people in this world: those who have pooped in their pants and liars. If you’ve never accidentally shit your pants, the day is coming. GET READY. Pooping your pants as an adult just feels so ridiculous and demeaning. You’re a grown-up – this shouldn’t be happening! If it’s in public, you have to get very strategic about how you’re going to handle the situation. You have to pretend like nothing is going on while inside you’re freaking out.
Unfortunately, I have pooped my pants as an adult. *Insert embarrassed emoji face here* I had just eaten an Ahi Tuna Salad (I know) and was driving to a stand up comedy competition where I was performing. It must have been a mix of the food and the nerves, because in my car I let out what I thought was a fart that turned out to be so much more. My jaw dropped. I had a chance to win a hundred dollars at the competition, so I couldn’t just turn around and go home! I threw my underwear into my glove compartment and ran into the (thankfully) single-stall bathroom at the club and began washing my legs and my dress. I STILL PERFORMED, but I’m sure I smelled awful!
If you’ve ever done something as embarrassing as this, you might like to commiserate with other people. This Reddit thread was full of amazing shit-your-pants stories that have to be shared: