We all know the little things that are considered gross by society. Not being gross and learning how to be polite are part of being a mature human being, but when no one is looking at us? Forget about it – all bets are off. We all do some gross things that we know are icky, but let’s be honest: we’ll never stop doing them, and we’ll never really admit to doing them either. They just feel good for some weird reason! Sometimes doing gross stuff can feel oddly cathartic and awesome, even when we sit there, doing it, wondering, “Does anyone else do this or am I a total weirdo?”
You’re not a total weirdo – everyone does this stuff, it’s just that no one ever discusses it. I mean, I’ve met girls who have actually said they don’t fart. Dude, come on. If you don’t fart, your digestive system isn’t working properly and you should see a doctor. You fart! Everyone farts! Bodies are gross, and if we can’t laugh about those weird things we do when we’re behind closed doors, then how can we ever feel confident in ourselves? So, let’s get a head start. Here are some gross things we all do that we’ll never stop doing, no matter how much we scrunch up our nose and say “ew” when we catch someone else doing it. Let me know if I forgot anything!
1) Biting your nails and cuticles… even your toenails.
Who needs nail clippers? I’ve met people who bite their toenails. It looks uncomfortable, but there you go.
2) Picking your nose.
Not a polite “let me get that real quick” pick. I’m talking about really digging in and going at it. No shame in your game.
3) Picking scabs.
Yeah, I know they’re nature’s bandaids and I should let my body heal, but they feel so good to pick off! Why?!
4) Picking blackheads and pimples.
Guilty. This is super cathartic, especially when they pop so much stuff appears on the mirror. EWWW. But also, awesome.
5) Chilling out on the toilet for too long.
Is it because of social media? People were doing this way before smart phones. I think it’s the one place we can go for alone time and know that no one’s going to bother us. Still, chilling out bare assed anywhere for too long is going to be a gross situation.
6) Peeing in the shower.
In case of emergencies. Even though you were right by a perfectly good toilet two minutes ago.
7) Peeing in the pool or ocean.
I think that myth where the chemical in the pool turns blue around you if you pee scared us all from peeing in the pool, but we’ve all swam through a warm patch and wondered.
8) Academically assessing the strength and volume of our farts.
You’ve also been low-key impressed with yourself.
9) Tbh, same for burps.
Yeah, you do!
10) Picking food out of your teeth and swallowing it.
I mean, it’s already in your mouth, it just got caught up… so…
11) Licking your fingers.
Screw napkins, food is delicious. Salty, saucy, sugary foods get lapped up, wherever they wind up.
12) Eating with your hands.
Food meant to be eaten with a knife, fork, or spoon taste infinitely better when eaten with your hands. It’s just basic science.
13) Picking crumbs off of yourself and eating them.
Or fishing it out of your boobs, clothes, wherever. Bonus points if you just put your mouth on your clothes and vacuum it up with your tongue.
14) Reusing dirty dishes because you don’t feel like doing them.
No one has time for that.
15) Eating food off the floor far past the five second rule.
And not even rinsing it off. Gross. Also, same.
What did we forget to include? Which gross thing do you do the most? Let me know in the comments!
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