7 Easy Ways To Be Better At Foreplay

No matter how you go about it, there is something decidedly non-sexy about the word “foreplay.” Wouldn’t you agree? Perhaps it is the fact that it sounds a bit like a medical procedure, or a golf term, or that the construction of the word evokes that of another word, “foreskin,” which while technically a part of a sexual organ, is not one that most people would define as, in and of itself, particularly sexy.

Well, guess what? Foreplay IS sexy! In fact, by definition, it is the “sexual activity that precedes intercourse,” meaning it is basically what the building blocks of sexiness depend on T ! It is also, if you wander through the annals of a Google search, a song by the band Boston and a book series that I assume is very engrossing. (This is all true! You can google it.)

Of course, despite its definition, it should be noted that foreplay shouldn’t just be treated as the thing that comes before sex. There are lots of hookups that are only foreplay, technically–anywhere from making out to stuff below the belt–that are still just as great as going all the way.
But what does that mean for you? That you should know all there is to know about foreplay, obviously, whether it is the main attraction or purely what comes before sex.

So, however you feel about foreplay, check out these easy ways to be better at it:

Don't Call It 'Foreplay'

Like I said before--the word "foreplay" is not actually the greatest aphrodisiac. It is like referring to sex as "sexual intercourse" or "passionate lovemaking"--not wrong, technically, just not, like, great. So, instead of saying something like, "Okay, now it is time for sexual intercourse. Let us proceed first with the foreplay, then we may begin the passionate lovemaking," just, like, do it. (With consent, obviously.) It's one of those things that works best when you don't map out every single detail.

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This is important for any part of sex, obviously (and just, like, life in general) but it's especially vital when it comes to foreplay. If your partner is rushing things, or doing something that you don't like, just tell them--you don't want to start things off on the wrong foot.

Image source: iStock

Hug It Out

Seriously.  A twenty-to-thirty-second-long hug can both relax you and raise your levels of oxytocin, which is the hormone that causes arousal. This means that it's the perfect thing to start off with if the idea of sex or hooking up is making you feel nervous.

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Kiss More

Kissing is something that often gets neglected--you know, like a peck on the lips here or a quick, halfhearted makeout sesh there. But there are a ton of reasons why you should be making out more, like, in general, as well as integrating it into your foreplay routine. First of all, couples who kiss often are happier than those who do not, according to a study done a few years ago, since it can lessen irritation and boost circulation in the face, which makes you feel happier. Also, kissing doesn't just have to be your standard peck--the area around your lips is actually super sensitive and responds well to stimulation (kissing, licking, whatever), so you can do that to your partner and ask them to do it to you if you want to spice things up.

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Talk Dirty

The idea of dirty talk makes some people a little bit squeamish (I am reminded of this cringe-worthy scene from the hit HBO Original Series Girls), but it doesn't have to be that scary. All you have to say is what you're comfortable with. Still feel nervous about dirty talk? Check out some easy tips on how to do it here.

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Watch A Movie

If you like porn (nothing wrong with liking it; nothing wrong with. it liking it), it's a great thing to do as foreplay.  First of all, it's a super easy way to make both parties aroused. You literally don't have to do anything (other than find a video you both like, which, admittedly, might be a fairly challenging task). It's also a great way to figure out things you want to do when you start hooking up--if it's not too hardcore, you can use it as a step-by-step guide.

Image source: iStock

Don't Overthink It

I know! This is a step-by-step guide to foreplay, which, by its very nature, is overthinking things in a big way. But it's actually not a huge deal if you get into the bedroom and forget everything you've ever read about hooking up. What's important is to be relaxed, both with yourself and the person you're hooking up with, and to do things that you're comfortable with and make you feel good. If you manage to turn off that nagging, overthinking voice that tends to get pretty loud during hookups, and just follow your instincts, you'll be totally fine. It's hooking up! Not reality TV. You can come out to have fun, not just to win.

Image source: iStock

What do you think about foreplay? Do you have any good tips? Let us know in the comments!

You can reach the author, Sara Hendricks, on Twitter and Instagram.

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