I’ve written about abstinence loads of time for Gurl, and I’ve never hidden my opinion about it: Nothing wrong with deciding not to have sex before marriage, but declaring abstinence the only true form of safe sex while neglecting other safe sex methods that have been tried and proven–birth control, condoms, etc–is ridiculous. Research has shown that abstinence-only education doesn’t work and puts sexually curious people at a higher risk of pregnancy and STDs. Also, it just continues a nasty tradition of putting a lot of value on the concept of virginity, something that has been used to shame people (especially women) for ages.
Honestly, what is virginity, really? Many think p-in-v penetration when they think of someone losing their virginity…but what about people who are having sexual relationships with people who share the same genitals? Are they perpetual virgins? Why isn’t anal sex “real sex” in the eyes of cis-gender hetero couples hoping to create a no-sex-before-marriage loophole…but counts as sex when discussing two people with penises having anal sex? As somebody who was a virgin throughout high school and college–not by choice, just happened that way–even I think that the whole concept of virginity is a bit of a sham, and abstinence-only misinformation helps keep the sham alive.
There are a lot of genuine questions out there about abstinence, but there are many more that are just…beyond frustrating. Check out these 11 questions about abstinence that will annoy the crap out of anyone with a brain, courtesy of Yahoo Answers.
1. Those loopholes, tho.
2. …Condoms and birth control do exist.
4. Doesn’t that contradict the point of a promise ring?
5. Uh, maybe if abstinence worked, this would mean something. But it doesn’t, so, uh, naw.
6. IT. DOESN’T. WORK.
7. You turn into a monster.
8. WTF? Back off! Let your friend make her own decisions as long as she’s safe, don’t give her a lecture.
9. …This is why the concept of virginity is BS. It literally means something different depending on who you talk to. SMDH.
10. Even if this were true, I think we can all agree that teen being encouraged to have safe sex isn’t the worst thing in the world.
11. LOL THIS IS SO RUDE.
What’s your take on abstinence? Do you think it should be a part of a school curriculum or do you think it’s a waste of time? Tell us in the comments!