There’s a lot of controversy surrounding sex on the first date. A large majority of people believe that if you have sex too soon with someone, there’s no future for the relationship. A more harsh statement thrown around all too often is that having sex right away makes you “slutty,” although that usually only applies to women. Some people say if someone tries to have sex right away, they’re using you and don’t actually have feelings for you. Much of the negativity surrounding sex before a committed relationship comes from gender-specific stigma that pinpoints the blame on females – that women should be the ones responsible for “waiting” until an appropriate time before getting intimate.
The thing is, no one else can tell you when you’re ready to be intimate with another person. For some people, the first date is a great time. For others, it may take months, years, or not until marriage. Regardless of societal expectations, the decision on when to make a physical connection is not black and white, and you won’t find the date circled on your calendar. Even guys don’t all agree on the issue! We asked 14 people for their opinions on hooking up right away. What do you think about sex on a first date?
It's More About The People InvolvedDaniel If there’s an understanding between the two people then I think it’s acceptable. It’s a case by case basis, but if there’s an understanding that it’s just fun or whatever and both people are feeling it then I’d say yeah. That connection and that understanding has to be there. Image source: iStock
People Should Wait For A Real ConnectionMercedes Personally, I’ve always looked at it as something that should be preserved for something where there’s actually a deeper connection there. To make sure that the other person is worth it—worth the physical or emotional effect that could happen. It’s something to wait for, and could help build the relationship later. Image source: iStock
As Long As There's No Pressure...Ben If there’s a connection I don’t see a problem with it. From the female perspective I feel perhaps men pressure them into doing this sometimes so they’re a scumbag — be wary of that. Otherwise, if it’s mutual, why not. Image source: iStock
It Doesn't Usually Mean Long TermLiz If it's consensual then whatever. I have different opinions if one pressures the other. I feel like if both people are on the same page then it's not an issue but sometimes I feel like when that happens it’s implied that it’s not long term. But I know plenty of people who are dating someone that had sex with "fast." Image source: iStock
It Means The Sex Doesn't Mean AnythingTim I’m not really a fan. I like at least the illusion of some kind of romance and courtship. I think if you just jump right into it then it’s just empty and it doesn’t mean anything. Image source: iStock
Only If There's No FutureNancy I’d say it’s all about the vibe. I don’t fuck on the first date if I actually like the person. The chase makes the first time more fun. That said, if he’s hot but has a dud personality, I’ll go for it, because why not? Image source: iStock
Screw The StigmaCarly Why should women be the only ones to get a bad rep for sleeping with someone on the first date? If I'm sleeping with you on the first date, that means you're sleeping with me too. I think that stigma is a bit outdated. I mean for me personally I don’t think it's good to do on EVERY first date, but that's up to you. I have done it and don't feel bad about it. Image source: iStock
Not That Kind Of GuyThomas I don’t like it. I’m not the type of guy who does one night stands, so if a girl is just going to give it up immediately, it shows she might be. Image source: iStock
Do What You WantLainey I think banging on the first date has nothing to do with the success of the relationship. it's another weird stigma people created to make women feel bad about being sexual. FREE THE GENITALS. Do what you want with you body. Image source: iStock
Just Stay SafeEmily I don’t judge anyone who does that. That’s really all I have to say. Use condoms! Image source: iStock
Prepare For A Disappearing ActBeth You kind of grow out of that “prudeness” when you get older and realize life is different. I do think for young women though there is an element of if we do have sex it’s like “the big finish” and you don’t really talk to that person after. And that’s happened to me. It’s almost like we don’t have anything else to talk about after that. Image source: iStock
Get Caught Up In The MomentJimmy I think it’s fine. If both people want to, I don’t see anything wrong with it. If it’s somebody you want to date, it might not be the smartest move. But in the moment...it probably wouldn’t stop me from doing it. Image source: iStock
NBDJimmy I’m open to it. Done it before. I think it’s a lot, but you know what? It’s fine. Image source: iStock
Go For ItJimmy I think if you’re feeling it, go for it! But before you do, be aware of all the possible results and be okay with them. Image source: iStock
What do you think about sex on the first date? Have you done it? Would you? Share in the comments!