Having a crush on someone can make even the most confident of us feel a little bit, well… desperate. Not only when it comes to trying to get their attention, but also when it comes to figuring out if they like you. When you like someone, you will grab at any possible sign that they like you back. You Google what these signs are, you search for them, and you optimistically assume that they mean he feels the same way you do. Oh, he smiled in your general direction? He MUST like you. He laughed at your joke? He’s probably in love.
There’s just one problem with all of this: some of the most common signs that a guy likes you might not actually be signs at all. Yes, it’s the unfortunate truth… everything you thought you knew about the signs of *lust* might be wrong. This Ask Reddit thread asks real dudes to weigh in on the signs that are not true at all, and the answers are pretty unsettling. I almost don’t want to show you guys these because they make dating seem pretty hopeless, and I know it’s not. Take these with a grain of salt as reminders that, in the end, you’ll only know if you ask. Here are 10 signs a guy likes you that dudes say aren’t true:
He Cuddles With You After Hooking UpDecievedRTS: 'He cuddles after sex'. Some guys have got this down to such a fine art it's almost criminal. Granted sometimes it will be a sign that they care more than just sex but if you're both single and he's done nothing about it then it means utter horseshit he's just keeping you on side in case he wants another turn. Reading that might sting, but it's honestly so true. Wanting to cuddle, or even opening up, after sex doesn't mean he likes you as more than a hookup buddy. Like this dude said, some guys are trying to manipulate the situation in their favor. Other guys genuinely like to cuddle! Other guys feel like they have to cuddle after hooking up. It is not a major sign that he's soooo into you. Source: iStock
He Talks To You A LotLemonLce: Just because I'm nice and carry on a conversation with you for an extended period of time does not mean I'm interested in you. Apparently I've led on many women by being friendly and texting them back after a couple of hours. Responding at all made them think I was interested. Woops, I guess. I hate having to tell someone I'm not interested, because I hate being told when someone isn't interested in me, so it sucks having to do that to another person when it's happened to me more times than I can count You know how sometimes a girl is nice and polite to a guy and he assumes she likes him just because she's giving him attention? Yeah, this happens the other way around too. Sometimes a dude is just trying to be your friend, and that's it. Source: iStock
He Flirts With Yousprinklesofbullshit: I flirt with women I'm not interested in. Like, I might flirt with you because you have nice tits but nothing else going on. Or I might flirt simply because you're a woman in front of me and it's fun. This answer is so annoying, because we want to believe that flirting means someone likes you. Unfortunately, it doesn't always mean that. Some people just love to flirt and will flirt with ANYONE. I have a friend who flirts with guys and girls, and she's straight. Some guys just flirt for fun, or if they think you're attractive but that's it. It just doesn't always mean something more. Source: iStock
He Stands With His Body Facing YouAnUnsungBard: Most of that "if he has his right foot pointed towards you, that indicates direct interest" body language pseudoscience crap. That kind of stuff is so interpretive that it's practically useless to a layperson who isn't using scientific controls to observe it and an expert to interpret it. Don't rely on it. Body language is definitely a real thing, and certain cues are pretty legit. But if you're trying to figure out if someone has a crush on you, I wouldn't look for body language clues to be the sign. They're not reliable and could mean more than one thing. Source: iStock
He Seems Happy and Outgoing Around YouKyussabsMale: I'm open, outgoing and and flirty with those i have no interest in. I'm shy, nervous and introverted towards the ones i am. For some reason, a lot of people think that when a guy likes them, he'll be confident and outgoing. As this dude says, it's usually the opposite - I know that's true for a lot of women too. Of course, this depends largely on personality, but in general, a dude who likes you will act nervous and awkward around you rather than cool and suave. Source: iStock
He Tries To Make You LaughShika_E2Male: When he tries to make you laugh. Of course sometimes this is true, but not every single damn time. Making people laugh feels good! And a lot of guys feel like they have to be funny and witty, so they spend a lot of time trying to impress others by making them laugh. It doesn't always mean he wants a relationship. Source: iStock
He Wants To Have SexCatnipFarmerMale: The fact that he's willing to sleep with you does not mean he likes you. The harsh truth about dudes and sex is this: for most of them, sex and crushes (or love) are often two separate things. Just because a guy wants to sleep with you, or tries to sleep with you, or actually does sleep with you doesn't mean he likes you. Sometimes they just want to have sex. Sometimes they just think you're hot and want to have sex with you, but don't want to date you. It's not always the same thing. Too many girls assume that just because he wants to hook up means he has ~feelings~ and... it's just not always true. Source: iStock
He's Mean To YouDefinitelynotstephen: That stupid lore that sticks around from Kindergarten that if a guy makes fun of you, or is mean to you he is into you. Playful teasing is one thing, but if he's being an asshole, he's just an asshole. He could also be into you, but he's an asshole. Very true. A guy being rude or mean is never cool or a good sign. Ever. Source: iStock
He Tries To Get To Know YouBigBadJohn13: The fact that a guy is asking a lot of questions and showing interest doesn't mean he's actually interested. He very likely could (1) be getting to know you better by seeing your response to questions or (2) just being polite. Very true. I am a shy person, and when I don't know how to carry on a conversation, I just ask the other person a lot of questions. This could come off as me flirting, I guess, but I don't think of it that way. The same goes for dudes. He might just be acting friendly. Source: iStock
Every ThingTheFirstUranium: All of them. I'm not a damn dog, I don't wag my tail unconsciously. If you're looking for a sign, he's probably not giving you one. At this point you're probably like, "Okay, WTF, are there ANY signs that are actually legit? There are, but figuring out if someone has a crush is often a mix of different things. Sometimes we never figure it out! You usually will just *know* but... this is why we always suggest asking! Source: iStock
Which of these signs have you been fooled by? What did we forget to include? Let me know in the comments.