We all act like complete weirdos on the internet, but nowhere does our freak flag fly higher than on Facebook. We all do strange things on Facebook that we would never admit to IRL. Real life you, for example, probably would not approach a stranger and say, “Hi, do you mind if I skim through all of the photos in your cell phone albums to get a better idea of who you are? Oh, we’re not friends, but I saw you liked my boyfriend’s picture in 2013 and I just need to know more about you.” Facebook you would do this, without asking, of course. Real you wouldn’t respond to someone saying “RIP Grandma” by giving them a thumbs up, but Facebook you would like a status saying that (I still don’t know why).
So, yeah, we all do the below weird things on Facebook, even if we firmly say we do not. For some reason, despite the fact that these behaviors are normal, it’s taboo to admit to actually doing them in real life. I’m only open about how creepy I am on social media with my super besties, and even they don’t hear the full extent of it. Why do we still call these things creepy, though? They’re happening because we have the power and ability to Internet stalk someone without them knowing. But I digress. Here are 20 strange things we all do on Facebook, whether you want to admit to them or not. I’m on to you!
1) Clear your history after searching for someone incriminating.
If you don’t know how to clear your Facebook search history, learn. When you search your crush, an ex, or an old friend, basically anyone you shouldn’t be creeping on but def are, you need to cover your tracks in case anyone borrows your phone.
2) Hit one letter on your keyboard just to see who pops up.
It tracks who’s pages you’re on the most. So, hit a random letter and see who’s your most popular M name and try not to be embarrassed.
3) Search your friends list instead of the search bar so it doesn’t track it in your history.
Only amateur creeps go to the search bar instead of poking around the friends list.
4) Search for your parents.
Or teachers. Ahh!
5) Secretly freaked out when your top nine changed.
And googled what it all meant. Hint: no one knows for sure. I know, because I googled.
6) Scrolled too deep in someone’s profile pictures and uncovered a really embarrassing time in their life.
Nothing like hitting the wrong arrow scroll and uncovering a past secret self.
7) Spent way too much time on bae’s ex’s page.
What did he see in her? Why do they look so cute together? Grr…
8) Spent way too much time scrolling through your own damn timeline.
You’re so funny, you’re so cute #nostalgia
9) Pretended you didn’t see something on Facebook so it doesn’t look like you’re on it all day.
JK LOL, you never leave.
10) Muted someone you like IRL, but can’t stand their internet presence.
You, the minions, conspiracy theories, and your politics need to stfu.
11) Block someone for petty reasons.
Then saw how long it took them to notice, if they noticed because your pettiness knows no bounds.
12) Google things for the sheer purpose of changing your Facebook ads.
If you google engagement rings once, the gods will punish you forever.
13) Slow scrolled on your phone to avoid accidentally liking anything.
Just caaaaaareful… don’t put your finger there…
14) Or worse, accidentally hitting “Love” instead of “Like” on something you didn’t mean to.
Those new buttons crept up out of nowhere!
15) Handed your phone to a friend to see something and strongly cautioned “Don’t. Touch. Anything.”
Nothing is worse than the accidental like.
16) Accidentally like something from years ago on someone’s page and un-like it super quick.
Like they didn’t get the notification and that it was a glitch. Facebook doesn’t glitch like that.
17) Writing a really emotional or long status and deleted it a few minutes later.
NO ONE SAW THAT, RIGHT?
18) Re-posted a chain status that turned out to be fake, then deleted it.
Mark Zuckerberg isn’t checking anyone’s timeline to see if you don’t want to pay for Facebook. No one is splitting their lottery winnings with reposters. Why? Stop.
19) Changed your profile pic for the likes.
You know a thirst trap when you set one.
20) Refreshed your notifications on your birthday.
Being popular feels great 🙂
Which of these weird things do you do on Facebook? What did we forget to include? Let me know in the comments.
You can follow the author, Aliee Chan, on Twitter.