While the year 2016 has certainly brought us many things to complain about–Donald Trump, the Zika virus, a cheating scandal that somehow involves Selena Gomez, Orlando Bloom, Katy Perry, and a Renaissance Faire, to name but a few–I think we can all agree that it has also been a momentous year insofar as the production of Woke Baes. This is not something to take lightly, because a Woke Bae is a beautiful thing. If you are unfamiliar, a Woke Bae is a guy–the operative “bae”–who is aware of social justice issues and barely even problematic, which makes him effectively “woke.”
But, unfortunately, with the advent of Woke Baes and guys who are feminists, there also comes the Male Feminist. A Male Feminist is not the same thing as a guy who happens to be a feminist, by the way. A male who is a feminist understands that men and women should be treated equally, and will argue this point if pressed upon it. But most importantly, he understands that, as a man, he cannot truly speak out on the issues that affect women each and every day, so he tries to let them speak for themselves. A Male Feminist (emphasis on the capital M and capital F), on the other hand, does not understand this. He will tell another woman how she should go about practicing her feminism. He does not quite understand what feminism is, really. He will absolutely use the word “feminism” to his own gain:
male feminists be like
subvert the patriarchy… and buy ME pizza 😉
defeat the male gaze…and take ur OWN nudes before I ask 😉
— Sara Hendricks (@shendrickslamar) March 29, 2016
Is the thirstiest of Male Feminists are preferable to your average misogynistic red pill-swilling Men’s Rights Activist? Sure. Probably. But still. Some of them have got to, um, chill. Need proof? Check out these perfect examples of why Male Feminists have literally no chill:
1. This man who won’t rest until he knows how it feels to have an infant suckle at his breast:
— strongest guy on twi (@HeadHoncho) May 7, 2016
2. Sebastian here, who just loves proofreading women’s emails:
Bye bye lil Sebastian pic.twitter.com/mUPfyyFjMv
— Gabby Noone (@twelveoclocke) April 26, 2016
3. This man who tried to get that sweet “male feminist discount:”
oh my god a guy just asked if he could only pay half of the usual price to cam with me bc he’s a ‘male feminist’ lmfaoooo BYE
— bambi (@beardelacreme) May 1, 2016
4. This guy who’s a feminist, but not, like too feminist, you know?
5. Matt McGorry’s, like, entire Twitter feed:
— Matt McGorry (@MattMcGorry) March 11, 2016
6. Like, dude. Come on:
A photo posted by Matt McGorry (@mattmcgorry) on
7. This guy who is “actually a feminist:”
8. This guy who…doesn’t really know what he’s trying to say, probably:
“Nothing says beta male than a guy who tries to be a feminist.”
-William Foley, alpha male. pic.twitter.com/Ma6vivFNlu
— Fintan O’Toolbox (@FintanOToolbox) May 9, 2016
9. This guy who decided to put on all of his girlfriend’s clothes to prove some sort of point?
Thank god someone* said what we were all thinking**
**women have been saying pic.twitter.com/y84K3B5Rm9
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) May 11, 2016
10. This guy who REALLY needs to chill with the Georgia O’Keefe imagery thing he’s got going on:
11. This guy on the magazine (who isn’t real but he TOTALLY could be, right?):
coming soon, the first issue of Male Feminist magazine, for progressive passionate guys like you and me pic.twitter.com/FXrvS0uIeX
— blocked plonker (@shrekpissslave) October 3, 2014
12. This guy who tried to tell another woman what qualifies her to be a feminist:
A cis white male on tinder just said I can’t be a feminist and a marathon runner at the same time ..?
— Wulf (@GraceClouston) April 30, 2016
13. And, finally, this perfect imagining of what it means to be a Male Feminist:
Joseph Gordon Levitt: men did u dare to use the f-word today?
Matt Mcgorry: feminist?
Aziz Ansari: oh you know it!
They share a cookie.
— Gabby Noone (@twelveoclocke) November 11, 2015
What do you think of Male Feminists? Which of these posts was your “favorite?” Let us know in the comments.