Social media can go one of two ways: it’s either awesome, or it makes you want to throw your phone across the room. When it comes to statuses that are total overshares, it can be described as annoying enough to want to destroy your phone. We all have at least one friend on our Newsfeeds who indulges in social media oversharing way too often. Whether it’s about a relationship problem, a gross illness or injury, or something too sad to be public information, it’s all too much. Yes, you can do whatever you want with your social media pages, but there are some things you should really seriously consider never posting again. No one needs that much information from your overshares!
It’s not just about the fact that these overshares annoy your friends and family members – potential employers and colleges can view your account and see what you’re writing, and they can hold it against you when it comes to giving you a job or an internship or even a place in their school. Why let a stupid over-personal Facebook status ruin your chances of getting something you’ve been working really hard for? If you’re a chronic over-sharer, you might want to consider dialing it back a bit. Here are 11 social media posts you have to stop writing right now:
1) The passive aggressive status about bae.
Well, *someone* has dropped the ball in this relationship and it’s not you, so you clearly have to put the other party involved on blast, right? Just enough of a passive aggressive nudge. Just enough of a mopey song lyric (and maybe tag him!). Ugh, no. I would almost rather someone be like “I’m mad at my boyfriend,” than post a series of out of context song lyrics and crying emojis. Vaguebooking and subtweeting? I’ll pass.
2) The persuasive essay about why your boyfriend is the best.
Your man crush everyday and woman crush everyday need to chill. I love an adorable #mcm or #wcw once in a while, whether it’s a celebrity crush or your significant other – that’s great. What we could all do without is the paragraphs long caption about why and how this person is the greatest person since Beyonce and Santa Claus every single week. If your wedding vows may as well be a backlog of these overshared sappy TMI posts, dial it back a notch. Some things can just stay between you and your boo.
3) The public address about your breakup.
Let me be clear, the “Yes, we broke and we’re fine,” post is different than, “Dear The Public, Steve is a f-ckboy who cheated on me with Ashley. Avoid him at all costs. He does not know a good woman when he has one *lemon emoji* *bee emoji*” No one needs to see the inner workings of a malfunctioning relationship quite like that.
4) The “I’m so single” sob fest post.
GIVE. ME. A BREAK. What do you want the internet to do with that information? Direct potential partners your way and link them to that extra mopey self-pitying post? Give you compliments that you clearly don’t want to hear? (Or do?) Just stop it. There are several billion people in this world, someone has to know how to love you the right way, and it’s entirely possible you haven’t met yet. Chill out.
5) The one where you tell everyone what’s going on with your entrails.
Your stomach flu does not need a play by play like it’s the Superbowl. No one needs to know what you puked up, how much of it happened, and what your sick person poop looks like. Facebook is not your WebMD, and even if your friends got similarly sick, they’re not going to help because getting past nauseating descriptions is a really hard thing to do.
6) The self deprecating selfie post.
If you’re going to post a selfie, don’t apologize for it. Captioning them by saying that you’re ugly or gross. No.
7) The beginners guide to stalking.
Look, if someone wanted to kidnap you, and all they really had to do was look at your repeat check-ins and your detailed class schedule that you posted on your public Instagram, you might be putting your safety at risk. Even if you don’t check in at places, you could have your Twitter set to tag your location without you knowing it (I had to turn mine off after someone alerted me to this.) Double check your settings and be careful.
8) The epic smackdown post.
This does not have to be about your significant other. If you are taking down a friend, a classmate, your job, or your school, it can probably be used against you. If you shit talk getting into your last choice college, there’s a chance they’ll find out, even if you don’t tag them – they might rescind your invitation to attend next year. Rants against people are just plain bullying and that’s hurtful and mean spirited. There’s no other way to slice it, even if they did you wrong.
9) The zealous political rant.
If you care about politics enough to the point where you post about it on social media, you are either preaching to the choir or are alienating your friends who disagree with you. Why do you need to give a debate-team style post about why you #FeelTheBern or that you’re riding the #TrumpTrain or #ImWithHer? If you’re of age, register to vote, remember to vote, and be done with it. And if you haven’t already seen Ted Cruz punch, then elbow his wife, while she tries to hug him, you’re welcome.
10) The one about how lit you got, especially if you’re under age.
It’s inappropriate and annoying to share how hungover you are, how much you’re drinking, or how high you are even if you’re of age. If you’re underage, you could get caught. I’m not going to pretend that teen drinking doesn’t happen, but I’m for sure going to tell you that it’s illegal and that posting about it on social media is going to get you in to trouble.
11) Every Buzzfeed quiz result ever.
I don’t care what character you are from Game of Thrones. I don’t need to know any of this. Stop it. Why?
Which of these things have you posted on social media? What do you disagree with? Let me know in the comments.
You can follow the author, Aliee Chan, on Twitter.