15 Things You Don’t Know About Guys That They Want You To Know

As much as we want to erase gender stereotypes and gender roles, and as passionate as we feel about allowing everyone to have equal rights, it can’t be denied that there are some differences between males and females. Just like there are things about being a girl that dudes will never quite truly understand or know about, there are things about being a guy that girls don’t know about. Have you ever said anything like, “Why do guys do that?! They just don’t get girls! I wish they did!” (Probably) Well, guys have said the same thing! There are some things you don’t know about guys that they want you to know – and now you can find out what they are.

Now, like anything else out there, the below secrets don’t apply to every single man on the planet. It would be silly to assume that they do. Everyone is unique and different with their own thoughts and experiences. Still – these are pretty general, and they definitely do apply to a lot of men. Thanks to this Ask Reddit thread, where men get candid about aspects of their life women just don’t get, we can find out the experiences guys go through that we may not. Interesting, right? I thought so. Check out these things dudes want you to know about them and keep them in the back of your mind for future relationships:


They Want To Feel Sexually Wanted

JosephND: That as men, we also want to feel sexually wanted too. I had an ex that was horrible, she'd complain about me not making it apparent enough and then she'd complain about me making it too apparent. She'd hate if I was too spontaneous but would then accuse me of being too predictable. Meanwhile, she only twice ever told me I was sexy or that she really wanted me... And that was exclusively in the first month. After a while it was only ever me pursuing her, and her not even bothering to care about pursuing me. After a year and a half I realized how low my self esteem had fallen in that regard and started to emotionally disconnect from her.

So many women assume that all men only think about sex, and that they don't need women to tell them they want them - they already think every woman does. I'm not sure where this thought came from, but it's not true. That's why guys get so turned on when a woman makes it obvious she wants him - they're not used to it.

Source: iStock

Sometimes They Seem Cold Because They Don't Know How Else To Be

Mechanical-one: Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

This quote is very accurate. Again, guys are taught not to show emotion unless it's anger - this is a huge reason why so many men appear cold and disinterested.

Source: iStock

They Get So Many Boners That They Start To Mean Nothing

ChiefGamken: Random Boners and our ability to go on with what we were doing. There is an outstanding chance that a guy has spoken directly to your face with a random boner.... just tucked up into the waistband, half an inch of cloth away from poking out and smiling at you.

Welp. Interesting.

Source: iStock

They Feel Really Lonely

tqqp: How utterly socially alone we are sometimes. Most women seem to have many friends that they could call on in a second to provide deep emotional support. No guy friend has ever put their arm around me and told me it's going to be ok. I don't know any man I could cry to or just be with if I'm feeling down and desperate. Sure we can relate, and we can complain to each other. We can go out for a drink and talk and listen to problems and give solid advice and be there for the other guy. It doesn't seem the same as the emotional support I see many women have, it's an incredible gift to be able to let yourself go.

It's true - guy friendships often aren't as close or emotional as female friendships. Think about how you would feel without your friends. It's sad!

Source: iStock

They Lose All Emotion After Orgasms

Walker_ID: that immediately following an orgasm we lose virtually all emotion. it brings crystal clarity in our brain. because it is literally the only time in our lives that 95% of our brain power isn't thinking about sex.

Hey, you can't say they're not honest.

Source: iStock

They're Scared To Make The First Move

5emi: I don't think some women realize how terrifying it can be for some men to approach them, for any reason. I have thought for awhile that I suffer from social anxiety, for instance there is this girl that I like on Facebook, and have met several times, usually at get togethers with friends. Anyways I like this girl, and I am fairly certain if I asked her out she would say yes. But I don't, I can't. I have had her as a friend on Facebook for several years, and the only time I have talked to her was when I thanked her for wishing me a happy birthday. You see, I am afraid to even talk to her, not because she scares me, but because I don't want to say the wrong thing and scare her away, so I continue to do nothing. fearing, and stressing over rejection. it makes me feel so small a man.

Yes, guys are just as scared of rejection as we are. They aren't all super confident!

Source: iStock

Guys Don't Have A Lot Of Emotional Support

DarkLorde117: Guys have zero emotional support structure. Anytime I try to tell anyone I have real emotions or opinions I get shot down to the point where I don't really feel safe talking to anyone anymore. It's easily the largest problem in my life, and from what I understand, I lot of guys have to deal with it through out their entire teenage/young adult life.

This is a huge issue. We all know that dudes aren't "supposed" to show emotion. They're ridiculed if they cry or feel heartbroken or get really upset. They're trained to only show emotion through anger or to not show it at all. Because of that, they don't have a lot of emotional support from family members, friends, or significant others. And everyone needs that!

Source: iStock

Attention From A Girl Can Make Guys Really Happy

BlaesTJK: The fact that a smile from a pretty girl or a hug and a kiss from the person you care about can make all the pain disappear. I've had days that the shit storm I keep bottled up was about to explode but then - out of nowhere - a cute girl will smile at me.

A lot of girls don't think guys need romantic stuff like this, but they definitely do!

Source: iStock

They Need Some Time To Process Things

GamingWithBilly: That men have different response times. Many things we think about are never said, simply because what we think about may not be of any value to say until we find a reason to say it, or that we are still deiding if it's worth saying. As in, if we are in an argument, we will refrain from answering right away to every question. If you yell and scream and demand 12 questions in less than 60 seconds, we can't answer them all and cannot think well enough to answer them in the best way. Ask one quesion, let us have time to process it. Rattling off a dozen as fast as you can could lead to screaming matches.

I hear a lot of guys complain about this. It's important to keep in mind!

Source: iStock

Rejection Really Hurts Them More Than You Know

KA1N3R: How much interactions with girls during puberty shape us for our whole life. Ever touched a girl on the arm and she said 'Eww, yuck!'? Well, we'll be forever shy in that regard. girls telling you that you're weird? We'll always try to appear not weird.

For some reason, a lot of women assume guys don't care about rejection. Most women I know don't hesitate to reject someone very rudely and bluntly. While this is sometimes deserved, it isn't always. I never reject someone in a mean way unless I absolutely have to. You wouldn't like it if was done to you, so don't do it to others.

Source: iStock

They Feel A Lot Of Pressure To Be Successful

dgrace97: The requirement to be established. Have an established job, have a house, to be independent. It may just be because of my age but most of the girls I know prefer older guys because they are more likely to have aspects of their lives set up. I have no idea what my future is going to hold, but I keep that as quiet as I can.

Everyone feels pressure to be successful, but I think that guys feel it more in certain ways. It's more acceptable for a woman to stay at home and not have a big job with a big title (which is a whole other issue in itself), but if a guy isn't sure about what he wants to do, he's deemed a loser.

Source: iStock

Gender Stereotypes Hurt Guys Too

lolroflpwnt: Gender stereotypes exist for us. I'm a stay at home dad. I've been called terrible things all because I don't work like a man should. This happens even though I also collect VA disability because of injuries sustained while in the USMC. I've been told I'm not a good role model for my son. Called a degenerate, even though I'm a college graduate. I've even been told im not a real man. It's really really depressing.

This is an older example, but it's still true. Yes, gender stereotype for women suck, but they do for men too. They just need to go away in general.

Source: iStock

They Never Get Compliments, Even Though They Want Them

greasyslimewall: 20 years passed before I was told by a woman other than my mother that I was handsome. If you think a guy is handsome TELL him. Chances are he hasn't heard it in a long time. Obviously some women aren't very often told that they're beautiful, and some men are told that they're handsome all the time but it seems to me there's still a large discrepancy there.

There definitely is a discrepancy, especially when it comes to compliments about looks. For some reason, a lot of people assume men don't want to be complimented on their looks and that women want it all the time. The result is that a woman doesn't tell a man he's cute, she compliments him on something more "masculine." It's silly!

Source: iStock

Guys Want You To Make The First Move

0l01o1ol0: No one ever asks us out. Seriously I've had women flirt with me, and instead of asking them out I'm sitting there wishing they would ask me out. It makes me feel seriously unwanted.

We say this all the time, but we'll say it again: guys love when you make the first move.

Source: iStock

They Always feel Nervous About Looking Creepy

cutemusclehead: How extra careful and nice you have to be so you do not scare some people, especially small children and women.

Sometimes it's hard for me to feel bad for men when they say stuff like this. But then i remember that not every guy is a creep, and I feel bad that they all get that reputation for the men who are.

Source: iStock

What did we forget? What surprised you the most? Let me know in the comments.

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