You might not want to admit this, but when it comes down to it, you owe your mother everything – without her, you literally wouldn’t be alive. She carried you for nine months, she went through labor for you, and she raised you. Your mom has fed you, clothed you, and supported you. She’s been your chef, your chauffeur, and your cheerleader. Mother’s Day is coming up Sunday, May 8, so it’s time to celebrate her. Moms can be annoying, pushy, and frustrating to deal with, but they love us and have our best interest at heart. You can take this one day of the year to be great back to her – which means picking out the perfect present and getting a great Mother’s Day card.
You might be older, but just about every mom will tell you that handmade cards are still the best. Want to kick it up a notch? Order a card that was handmade by someone else. Hey, not everyone is super artistic! Etsy has amazing Mother’s Day cards – and these ones will have you both in tears…from laughter. These are so funny, but they’re also incredibly inappropriate. I suggest not buying one of these if your mom is really conservative or doesn’t joke around like this! But if she does, make her laugh with something amusing rather than making her cry with something sappy. Here are 20 hilarious but inappropriate Mother’s Day cards you didn’t know you needed in your life:
1. Who needs flowers or jewelry? Your presence is a present. Right?
2. Hey, your mother is the one that taught you to be honest.
3. Never a better day to remember that if your parents hadn’t had sex, you wouldn’t be here.
4. Yup, just keep thinking about your parents having sex.
5. My sister has always told me I was a mistake, but my mom swears they wanted me.
6. No words necessary.
7. Is it too late now to say sorry?
8. Of all the slang words for vagina, I think “lady garden” might be my favorite.
9. She thought you were a keeper!
10. Slightly morbid, but true nonetheless.
11. Shake what yo’ mama gave ya!
12. They say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree…
13. Remember when you were little and wine was “mommy’s special grape juice”?
14. I can’t be the only one who blamed everything on her sister growing up.
15. Nothing like bossing around your mom on a holiday dedicated to mothers.
16. Turn this into a compliment for better results: “No one’s cooking is as good as yours!”
17. Shouldn’t we have learned to clean our own rooms by now?
18. After all the diapers she changed for you, it’s the least you can do.
19. Yeah, that will scar you for life.
20. For all the Harry Potter fans out there—Molly does set the bar pretty high.
Which one of these cards is your favorite? Let me know in the comments!