Some people are relationship people. You know the ones I’m talking about–those girls who always seem to have boyfriends, and those guys who lurch from one girlfriend to the next, like some monogamy-bent Quasimodo. Others, well, are not relationship people. I happen to be a member of the latter category, in case you are wondering. I’ve been single for most of my life, and, for the most part, I’m actually pretty into it–single people have a lot going for them, such as scientific studies that prove being single can #actually be superior to the alternative, plus the ability to be absolutely insufferable on any major holiday. But you know what’s not so great about being single? What everyone else–and, by “everyone else,” I mean those relationship-type people–tend to think about single people.
I have nothing against relationships and the people who are in them, obviously–despite my qualms about #RelationshipGoals couples, I actually pride myself on being an excellent third wheel–but if you are or have ever been single, you’ll know what I’m talking about. The pitying glances. The offers to set you up with any living, breathing, non-vegetative person, regardless of the levels of expressed interest on either side, “just in case” you’re looking for someone. The longstanding assumption that you’re definitely going to get a cat–it just depends on when. Check out the annoying things that, for whatever reason, everyone seems to think about single people:
1. The only thing you want is to be in a relationship.
Maybe…one day? But it’s not, like, the only thing you’re concerned with. Please. You have depth.
2. And, consequently, that you definitely want to be set up with their friend/cousin/boyfriend’s friend/boyfriend’s friend’s cousin.
3. Or, on the flipside, that being single automatically equals having a ton of great, exciting, consequence-free hookups.
It’s a “let me live vicariously through you”-type situation.
4. The very idea of someone else’s relationship will bring you pain.
Like, no one tells you anything about who’s dating who because they think it’ll bum you out. You’re a big girl. You can handle it.
5. You’re single because you’re “too picky.”
6. Or that there is some weird flaw, hidden deep within you, that is the reason why you are single.
This is the hidden intent behind the supposedly well-meaning question, “Why are you still single?”
7. Or that you just have really low self esteem that requires constant boosting.
Actually, take advantage of this one. It’s good for Instagram likes!
8. You are, in the words of Yo Trane, “allergic to commitment.”
Single people can be great at commitment, actually–commitment to school, commitment to friends, commitment to family. Relationships and commitment are not mutually exclusive.
9. You simply cannot hang out with any be-coupled folks. It will be too awkward for everyone.
False! Third wheeling is awesome!
10. You’re bitter AF.
Calm down. Being single isn’t actually *that* hard.
11. You are just counting down the days until you can own hordes and hordes of cats.
PERHAPS THIS IS SO. But, even if this is the case, it’s not a direct result of being single. Maybe you just like cats. I don’t know.
Are you single? Did I miss any weird assumptions that people tend to have about you? Let us know in the comments!
Follow Gurl, Pretty Please!