Guys like to act like they’re the only ones who have to deal with rejection, but that’s definitely not the case. Girls have to deal with rejection all the time. Whether your crush stops talking to you at school, ghosts on you, or hooks up with you and then never calls, women face the same struggles as men when it comes to being let down by the people they like. Often, you’re left wondering what you can do to “wash that man (or woman) right out of your hair” (as my mom would say) and get on with your life instead of stewing about the fact you’ve been turned down.
Getting told that the person you’re into isn’t into you back is never a good feeling. For whatever reason, I’m a person who has experienced a lot of rejection from the opposite sex. It doesn’t help that I tend to pine and crush on people for long amounts of time before ever letting them know how I feel. It also doesn’t help that I get hung up on the person who rejected me for months after they say, “No,” preventing me from meeting other great people and moving on with my life. I’m learning to be open to rejection and not make it the end of my world.
Rejection happens to everybody, it’s just how you handle it that counts. Here are some tips on how to act when you’ve been rejected:
Play It Cool"I used to feel extremely uncomfortable and awkward to even run into a guy that I knew liked me, but as I've gotten older, I've gotten over it. We're all adults and it's normal to be attracted to one another and in this situation, I just act the same and pretend like nothing ever happened. Acting normal helps the other person feel less awkward as well."- iiheartgreen You don't act weird around them, you don't stare uncomfortably at them, and you don't continue to try to win them over. You just act like it never happened! (Easier said than done, but still good advice.) Source: iStock
Don't Take It Personally"I think a good exercise is to put yourself in their shoes. Imagine getting asked out by someone who just "isn't your type." If you're a decent enough person, you don't hate them, you don't pity them, you don't wanna make fun of them...you just don't really want to go out with them. Our minds tend to immediately go for the worst case scenario, but just remember that most people aren't out to get you. Sometimes you just aren't their type. No biggie." - hawaiianjoey The more you are able to not take it personally, the more apt you are to get back out there. I have a really hard time with this, as I like to take rejection as a sign that I'm an awful, terrible person. But this exercise of thinking from the other person's perspective does help. Source: iStock
Pat Yourself On The Back"I smile, because I know it is better to have tried than to never have tried at all. I would have regretted it immediately after missing the opportunity. On to the next one!"- Saaen24 Seriously- putting yourself out there is SO COMMENDABLE. Rejection is part of the game. The more you get rejected, the less you care when it happens. Be fearless! Source: iStock
Don't Put Them On A Pedestal"Simply don't care about any one thing or person so much that they can influence your life that much.If you put anything on a pedestal, you're bound to have issues not only getting the results you want, but also recovering when you don't."- TheLastPeacekeeper Don't build your crush up to be a perfect person, because no one is perfect. Realize that if you are totally head-over-heals, you're probably romanticizing who they really are. This is something I'm constantly struggling with, and it makes getting over rejection take months. Source: iStock
Don't Make A Big Deal Out Of It"I like to say, 'Alright. Just thought I'd ask. See you.' - Anonymous You don't need to make it a big deal because it's not a big deal. If you freak out, though, or tell all your friends or write a dramatic Facebook post, it's going to make the rejection into more of an ordeal than it actually is. Source: iStock
Give Yourself Some Time"Probably cut contact for a little while (whether or not you tell them you need some space is up to you, and I think will depend on how close the friendship has been up to the rejection), take the time to purge the negative emotions, and then resume friendship (and ONLY friendship) once that's taken care of." - Anonymous It's totally okay if you don't want to see that person for a little while. You don't need to make a big, dramatic thing about it, but you can tell them you need a little space. Source: iStock
Get Back Out There"I treat myself. Movies, music, and video games. Cooking, too, so whatever amount I would have spent going out that night I'll instead turn around and buy some groceries with it. Rejected? Well, I'm going to eat a nice steak with a roasted mushroom sauce and mashed potatoes while some music or a game is going."- PM_ME_LITTLE_BREASTS Be nice to yourself, and don't take the rejection as a sign that you shouldn't be dating at all. Go on more dates, get on more dating sites, ask out the cute guy at the coffee shop. This will keep you moving forward instead of stewing about your perceived failure. Source: iStock
Think Positive Thoughts"What do you do when you want a wound to heal? Well, first you sanitize it. Emotionally, this refers to your thought process. It's easy to fall into the traps of "Why doesn't she like me?", "Why does this always happen?", I'm worthless," "What does he have that I don't?", etc. In order to better heal, resist the temptation to fall down this slippery slope. Think good thoughts. "That's just the way it goes, I suppose. It doesn't reflect on me as a person."- Anofles You have control over your thoughts so awknowledge when they are getting out of control and ground yourself back into reality. Source: iStock
Stop Being Around Them"When two people disagree in how they would like their relationship, their relationship ends. It shouldn't just be what the woman (or the man) wants.You can't have a friendship on the terms of just one person within that relationship."- GraveyMan Never seeing that person again is always an option, but if it's going to make you sad to constantly be around them, DON'T. It's going to be a wound that continuously gets opened each time you realize that they don't want to be with you. Source: iStock
What do you do after you’ve been rejected? Let me know in the comments below!