They say that it’s better to give than to receive. It’s not too surprising, then, that when it comes to oral sex, it seems like we tend to devote most of our focus on the act of giving it. We learn ways to give the perfect blowjob, what guys think the best thing girls can do when giving oral, ask questions about the overall process–you get the idea. So, if you’ve found that the thought of someone actually going down on you causes you to totally freeze up, you’re not alone. Receiving oral can be awkward, after all–you’re not sure if you should talk, move around, whatever. What if you hate it? Are you supposed to say something, or just be happy that you’re getting head at all?
Of course, if receiving oral is something that you’ve tried and are pretty positive you don’t actually like, you are obviously under no obligation to do it. People often act as though it’s something that everyone must love or else, and that anyone who doesn’t enjoy it as much as they “should” just isn’t going into it with the right mindset or simply hasn’t endured it enough. But someone going down on you isn’t something that you should feel like you have to endure–if you don’t like it, you don’t like it. And that’s fine. But, if you think you have the potential to enjoy oral sex, and you just haven’t quite gotten there yet, there are some ways to like it more. Check out these easy ways to enjoy receiving oral sex more:
RelaxI know that being told to relax can often be the absolute worst thing if you're trying to actually induce relaxation--being told to "calm down" actually makes my blood pressure rise significantly, I'm pretty sure--but, seriously, relaxation is your friend. You don't need to be a hyped-up oral sex machine--any way you act is totally fine with your partner. Image source:iStock
Give InstructionsLike when your partner does one thing, but DEFINITELY don't like it when they do that one other thing? Tell them! You're not going to sound like a jerk--you're just going to sound like a person who's totally in charge of her sexuality. If you're concerned about your partner's feelings, just make sure you lead with positive reinforcement, since telling them what you like will encourage them to do that. They'll figure out soon enough by what you DON'T mention what you're not so into. Image source:iStock
Try And Stay PresentIt's so rare that you're in an isolated situation where you're not actually expected to do anything that when it does happen, your mind tends to go in a million directions at once. Try not to do this--distraction is never your friend, and it certainly isn't here. Of course, your mind is going to drift naturally, but try and keep it contained to the bedroom. What sensation are you especially into? Not into? Pay attention to your mind and your body, and you'll enjoy the experience a lot more. Image source:iStock
Take Your TimeWhoever is going down on you wants you to come. So don't freak out if it's taking a while--these things take time, after all, and if the person who's giving you oral seems to be impatient that's not cool at all. It's not a race--you'll get there when you get there. (And, of course, it's totally fine if you don't end up having an orgasm, either. Lots of women find that they can't come from oral alone. If that's the case, just let 'em know when you've had enough.) Image source:iStock
Don't Worry About Your VaginaHere is what your vagina smells like: a vagina. Here is what your vagina looks like: a vagina. Your partner, whoever they may be, is going to be super into it, so please try not to freak out about weird scents or looks. Image source:iStock
Don't Enjoy It? It's Not Your FaultIf you don't like what's happening down there, chances are good that it's actually not your fault, but more that the person going down on you actually isn't that good at giving oral. If that's the case, you can let them do it for a little bit, and (politely) tell them when you've had enough. Tell them thanks! They'll appreciate it. Image source:iStock
Have you ever had someone go down on you? Did I forget any good tips for enjoying it more? Let us know in the comments!
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