Everyone says that high school relationships never last past graduation, which is literally the last thing you want to hear as you clutch bae’s hand and make promises to each other that you’ll make it through college together. But guess what? Just because everyone says it doesn’t mean it’s true. It is possible for relationships to last past high school, into college, and maybe even after college… and if your relationship is going to make it, there are some definite signs.
I’m not going to lie to you, a lot of people break up with their significant others during the first semester of college. It’s called the “turkey drop” because it usually happens some time around Thanksgiving – I’m not kidding. But, I’m also here to tell you that I have friends who are still with the people they were dating in high school. No kidding, engaged or married, together-forever still with their high school sweethearts. So, yeah, it can happen! They were all committed to make it work in college, through distance or even periods of studying abroad where communication was extra strained and really precious.
As you know, I didn’t have even a slight high school romance, but I was able to deduce a few things that make it work after graduation, through college, and in to the rest of your life – tbh, most of it is being honest and communication, just like any other relationship situation. Wanting to make it work isn’t foolish. If you’re committed to having your relationship last, I’m all for it. These are eight signs that it’s going to work out for you two.
You've Talked About Making It Work HonestlyWhatever the "making it work" arrangement looks like for you two, you've talked about it, made some compromises, and have a clear plan about how your relationship is going to look and function once you're away from your hometown. Like I said, even thinking about being at a different school than your significant other could make you completely shut down and not want to talk about it. But, if your relationship is going to work, this is a discussion you definitely need to have. You don't shy away from the topic and you're comfortable talking about it openly and honestly with your significant other. Opening this discussion is for sure the first step in making it work. Source: iStock
You Have A Plan For Communication Moving ForwardMost of you have selected colleges by this point, or at least formulated a plan about what's going to happen after high school. If it's FaceTiming once a week, texting at least once a day, or getting on Facebook messenger when you're in class (you guys, college is awesome like that, but don't tell your professors I told you to do this), you have both agreed to a plan and you're committed to it. It's realistic and totally doable, you're both excited about it, it's not overwhelming, and it doesn't feel like a burden. If you're already groaning about how much time you're going to dedicated to talking to your significant other, that's probably a sign that you should break up when you go to college. Source: iStock
You Don't Get Jealous EasilyBae is about to get tagged in a whole bunch of photos with people you don't know, girls you think are really pretty, and at parties you didn't hear about. Are you ready for that? If you aren't predisposed go social media stalking and blowing up over small things, you may be already prepped for this relationship to work once you're both at separate colleges. Of course, ask how that frat mixer went when you check in - whenever that is - but you aren't calling them out via text and demanding an in depth explanation for every girl who comments on his Instagram. College is a huge explosion of new friends and that doesn't mean that all of their new friends are trying to steal your significant other when you're away. Source: iStock
You Feel At Ease Instead Of Worried About It All The TimeYou're not constantly paranoid that they're secretly cheating on you or hiding something. Being far away demands a certain level of letting go and being okay with uncertainty... but are you truly okay with the uncertainty? Do you totally trust your partner or would you feel so much better if they wore a GoPro that directly linked to a live-stream you could check on at any time? If you truly have complete confidence in this person, that's a great sign that your relationship is going to work out. If trying to make your relationship work after high school fills you with constant dread, that's a red flag that breaking up might be healthier for you two. Source: iStock
You're In LoveThey're not the person you're with so you won't be alone, they're not your random hook up buddy, you two are in a real relationship and you're in love. And for the record, you can be in love when you're in high school and I'm tired of adults dismissing high school relationships as only being driven by hormones. This may seem obvious, but if you two are in love with each other, that's going to give your relationship a level of strength and a reason to work it out that not many other people have. Source: iStock
You Both Want The Same ThingsThis goes beyond you both wanting the relationship to work. You both want similar college experiences, you want to be in touch the same amount, you both want to hook up with other people (not kidding on this one). Being on the same page and wanting the same things is absolutely crucial in making a relationship work if you're both in separate colleges. This also goes for maybe considering an open relationship - I've seen it happen before, and it works if you discuss certain parameters you each stay in with your hook ups. If one of you wants to party all the time and the other one wants to visit every single weekend, that's going to be a problem down the road. Source: iStock
You Have Visits ScheduledYou're not running away to visit them every weekend - it's important to grow as your own person and have your own life in college, and you need that space to do it - but some mid-October weekend sounds like something you'd both be in to. Having future plans is always a good sign in a relationship. You both have dedicated one weekend or a window of time in which you both will make an effort to visit the other person. This way, you have something to look forward to and in-person checkpoints in between long stretches of time being far away from your boyfriend/girlfriend. Source: iStock
You're Realistic About The FutureYou're not all starry eyed claiming that you'll be together forever and nothing will tear you apart. Putting too much pressure on your relationship to work out can actually drive couples apart. You're both about to meet a lot of new people, so are you open to staying best friends and dating other people to see if your relationship is the real deal? Are you at peace with the fact that college could change someone and that you might break up eventually (not immediately)? You are realistic and level headed about the strain college is about to put on your relationship and you're at peace with it. You can let go of bae if they want to go and you have a very "if it's meant to be, it's mean to be," attitude about the whole thing. Source: iStock
Are you and your bae going to last? Did we forget anything? Let us know in the comments.