Is it weird to say that you have a crush on a cartoon animal? Yes, you read that correctly – not just a cartoon character, a cartoon animal. I mean, yeah, it’s weird. Does that mean we haven’t all watched a cartoon show or movie and, at one point, thought to ourselves, “Do I… do I think this fake cartoon animal is hot? Am I okay? Is this what they mean by beastiality? Should I ever tell anyone about this? No, I definitely shouldn’t.”
But just because it’s weird doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. I mean, come on: who didn’t experience some sort of confusing sexual awakening when Simba grew up in The Lion King? To be honest, it’s not as bad as it seems when you break it down: cartoon character drawings are often based on the human who voices them, so basically, you just have a crush on a celebrity who has animal features. Right? Right?!?!?
Call it weird and gross and perverted all you want, but I will never believe the person who tells me they haven’t felt a certain something for an especially cute cartoon animal. Accept it, embrace it, move on… or dedicate a day’s work to it, like I did. With all of that being said, here are 15 cartoon animals you definitely had a crush on when you were a kid, and hey, maybe you still have a crush on them! I don’t know your life. Go through this list and don’t even try to tell me you didn’t find at least one of these fictional animals attractive. You can’t.
Simba from The Lion KingLet's start off with the most obvious cartoon animal crush of all time. Young Simba is adorable and cuddly, and middle-school-you was probably all like, "Is this what love feels like?" Then teenage Simba comes along and you're like, "OMG this is what love feels like." Don't pretend you didn't feel really jealous of Nala when they rolling around in the grass. DON'T! If you feel that weird about crushing on a lion, remember that Jonathan Taylor Thomas is behind him.
Max from A Goofy MovieI remember when I first watched A Goofy Movie. By the middle, I was wondering to myself if it was normal to feel *feelings* about a cartoon dog who acted like a total doof. By the end, I was pretty sure I needed therapy because I kept imagining Max as a real person who was in love with me. I cannot be alone here. Max was adorable!
Robin HoodWhen I told my co-workers that I would be writing a post on hot cartoon animals, the second name literally everyone said (after Simba, obviously) was Robin Hood. Look at this fox (literally and figuratively!). Dashing, daring, bold... and he pulls off that hat so well. I mean, come on. If a whole bunch of adults can agree that Robin Hood was a sexy cartoon, it can't be wrong.
Lola Bunny from Space JamLola Bunny was just another cute cartoon rabbit batting her long eyelashes flirtatiously... until Space Jam happened. The movie transformed Lola Bunny into the sexual awakening of most children. Don't believe me? Search "Lola Bunny Space Jam" in Google images, and you'll see a disturbing amount of cartoon Lola porn (I'M SORRY) as well as a lot of "Lola Bunny as a human" drawings, which are basically just people trying not to feel guilty about their major hard-on for a cartoon bunny.
Bagheera from The Jungle BookBagheera is like the sly bad boy from your high school you were warned about. He gets away with everything and you want to dislike him, but you can't, because he's so cool. You're actually a little afraid of him... but in a good way, you know?
Cleo from PinocchioFor some reason, it sounds even more strange to talk about a crush on a cartoon fish rather than, say, a panther or a dog. I don't know why! I mean, maybe because it's a fish. But you can't tell me that Cleo isn't a beautiful goldfish. Look at those eyes! If you didn't watch Cleo swimming around in her little fishbowl and wonder if you needed to speak to someone about this, I just don't know.
Kit Cloudkicker from TalespinTo be honest, I feel very awkward writing this, because Kit is 12, and I... am certainly not 12. The good news is that I have never seen Talespin and don't know much about Kit. But I will say that I can see why young kids would crush on this cartoon - he's like the annoying kid in your class you want to hate, but you can't, because he's also kind of charming.
Bambi's Dad from BambiOn the flip side, we have Bambi's dad, who is clearly the strong, silent type from your dreams. If you're into "manly men" who like to take charge, then that might be because you spent a lot of time daydreaming about Bambi's dad as a kid. I'm not judging.
Duchess from The AristocatsDuchess is like the stereotypical "hot girl" in movies, except she is a cat and also a cartoon (minor factors we can clearly all ignore). Watching the Aristocats as a younger person, I wasn't sure if I wanted to be Duchess, or if I wanted to be with her, you know?
Thomas O'Malley from The AristocatsMaybe prim and elegant Duchess isn't your type - in that case, you were probably all about Thomas O'Malley. He was sassy and cool, and is the cat version of the bad boy jokester from school, so I get it, okay?
Sherlock HoundI have honestly never watched Sherlock Hound, which is an Italian-Japanese animated TV show based on, obviously, Sherlock Holmes, but that doesn't mean I can't see why he was a popular choice for hot cartoon characters online. He's got that whole tall, dark, mysterious thing going on.
Lumiere from The Beauty and The BeastYeah, yeah, the Beast was cool (I guess, I mean he did kidnap Belle and keep her locked in a room and then got all 'I love you but I'm mean' on her, which is really not cool, but I guess he made up for it the end), but it's all about Lumiere. Lumeire was smooth, charming, and a total lady's man. And yes, I know Lumiere is not an animal. He's a candle. But I am not about to write a post on "hot cartoon inanimate objects" unless we all feel very strongly about it, and then FINE, I will.
Jake from Rescuers Down UnderJake is annoying, but also annoyingly... attractive? He was full of the kind of confidence that pulls people in, even though he's, you know, a kangaroo mouse. He was just too charming.
Minerva Mink from AnimaniacsI am, quite frankly, disturbed by the images I saw while looking for one of Minerva Mink. I thought Lola Bunny was bad, but clearly, Minerva is on the same level. With her long blonde hair, big eyes, and intentional resemblance to Marilyn Monroe, I can't really blame those of you that had sexual awakenings to this character.
Arthur from ArthurWHAT? A lot of you are into the whole nerdy, dad bod, glasses, and normcore look that Arthur has going on. Maybe you're into a cartoon aardvark. I don't know your life!
Which cartoon animal is your favorite? Who did I forget? Let me know in the comments!