Ask A Guy: How To Become The Type Of Girl That Guys Notice

Hey Joel,

What kinds of things are guys attracted to? My best friend is always getting attention from guys and no one ever even bothers to look at me…I honestly have no idea what I’m doing, so I was wondering if there was anything I could accent about me or my personality to get some more attention. Thanks!


First and foremost, any guy who wants you to change something about yourself to date you is a guy you want nothing to do with (unless it’s a really bad habit or something like that). Take pride in who you are and what you have to offer, and other people will be able to pick up on that confidence. When you’re the best you possible, that’s when you’re going to attract the best match. Trust me when I say that there are guys who are into every type of girl, so you don’t need to change who you are at all.

However, to answer your question: one of the main reasons guys might not be noticing you as much is that it may be the wrong group of guys. Everyone has different likes and wants in a partner, and they may just be looking for other things. Think about what you like most about yourself and center yourself on that. It could be a physical aspect just as easily as a hobby or talent. Then, find a group of similarly-minded people, and that shared appreciation will more than likely lead to the attention you seek.

But above that, comparing yourself to others, whether as a person or when you’re in a relationship, can be extremely dangerous. You need to run your own race, so to speak, and let others do their own thing. The more you try to measure yourself against other people, the worse you’ll feel about who you are in the end. You want a guy to like you for who YOU are, not how you compare to some other girl.

Forget what other guys are looking for, and focus on what YOU love most about yourself. Above all else, you need to be comfortable with why a guy is into you, and if you compromise that, it’ll be nothing but broken hearts. Remember, it’s better to take a slow jog to finding Mister Right instead of a dozen sprints to different Mister Wrongs!

Best wishes,


Joel Freimark has done a lot in life and seen even more. From last minute international travel to bizarre places to writing award winning books, he’s here to bring his wisdom to all your problems. He hosts a weekly advice series on Youtube and a music series also on YouTube. No question is too outrageous or personal, so go ahead and fire away! Follow him on Twitter.

Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Joel, email him at!

Ask A Guy: What To Do If Your Boyfriend Flakes On Literally All Of Your Plans

Follow Gurl, Pretty Please!

FacebookTwitterTumblrPinterest, and Instagram

Posted in: Ask A Guy, Love Advice
Tags: , ,