Ted Cruz is many things. He is (allegedly) a Texas senator. A broken man who is running for presidential office despite the fact that his own offspring are part of his campaign, but only by means of brute force, and often brags that their favorite pastime is playing something called “attack the daddy.” He is also, as everyone knows, the Zodiac Killer–a serial killer who operated in Northern California from the late 1960s to early 1970s. Now, much like Donald Trump, a Ted Cruz presidency would under no uncertain terms bring about a period of social turmoil so great that the only solution would be to move to Canada or, at the very least, have your state secede from the Union. But, also like Donald Trump, we do have much to be thankful for in regard to Ted Cruz, since he has inspired a great deal of very excellent Internet memes. I mean:
BEST POLITICAL MEMES 2016:
1. Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer
2. Ted Cruz butter cow
2. Ted Cruz looks like ___
3. Ted Cruz
4. Everything else
— Sara Hendricks (@shendrickslamar) March 8, 2016
Between the butter cow and the zodiac killer and the inherent meme-ification that appears to live within the wilted flesh-colored SkyDancer that is Ted Cruz, there are some very, very special posts about Ted “Zodiac Killer Illuminati 666” Cruz out on this here internet. Check them out here:
1. You did this to yourself, dude:
Wow, a cow made of butter. My girls would love it. In fact, the first sentence Caroline ever said was "I like butter" pic.twitter.com/TzBZJmVFKT
— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) August 9, 2014
i feel you, girl. ted cruz makes me feel like that too. pic.twitter.com/ZQnreS7ZiZ
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) February 1, 2016
3. There is much to pull from of the Ted Cruz “aesthetic:”
Here's a photo of Ted Cruz from one of my high school's old yearbooks. The caption is definitely, definitely shade pic.twitter.com/yYuX403mcf
— Jia Tolentino (@jiatolentino) March 7, 2016
4. Such as his abject hatred for anything woman-related:
"Now I don't know what this is, but I know I don't like it." pic.twitter.com/kKNsub7jBN
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) March 9, 2016
5. And his stunning likeness to Kevin from The Office (who would be a preferable option for president, actually):
6. His awful penchant for blue jeans:
Blue jeans should send Ted Cruz a cease and desist.
— Chris Kelly (@imchriskelly) March 14, 2016
7. His overall…presence:
ew ted cruz just pulled off his mask and it is just another ted cruz underneath pic.twitter.com/pxLozrMqpk
— darth!™ (@darth) March 16, 2016
8. His very, very unnerving presence:
Ted Cruz is a bunch of silly putty stuck to the skeleton of a Salem witch trial judge who was killed in a fire lit by his favorite slave.
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) February 2, 2016
9. Which causes reasonable reactions like this:
I hate when Ted Cruz is on my TV cause I have to immediately drop everything I'm doing and pull up a gay porn video just to counter balance
— Matt Bellassai (@MattBellassai) March 16, 2016
10. WHAT EVEN IS THIS. WHAT. HOW. WHY:
Now this is happening pic.twitter.com/i04R95NYTB
— daveweigel (@daveweigel) March 3, 2016
11. He also looks like this guy from a Christian heavy metal band:
— MichaelSweet Stryper (@michaelhsweet) March 13, 2016
12. Most of all, though, he just looks like the Zodiac Killer:
I did a face swap of Ted Cruz and the zodiac killer pic.twitter.com/60c5bJZsss
— Madi (@madddsmoore16) March 8, 2016
13. Probably because he is the Zodiac Killer:
14. Ah, yes:
Get you a man who can do both: pic.twitter.com/ynJJJuS8D1
— O' Bice (@Pro_Jones_) March 10, 2016
15. He’s getting scared that we’re catching onto him:
what the pic.twitter.com/ditKJdCs1e
— (@LaziestCanine) March 11, 2016
16. How much cold, hard evidence will it take?
— eve peyser (@evepeyser) March 12, 2016
17. How many miles must we run?
whew! went on a great run today 🙂 pic.twitter.com/jNuGxgdUQX
— Kevin Tang (@Yolo_Tengo) February 26, 2016
18. This is…gorgeous:
— Legit Moose (@Moose_Bigelow) March 13, 2016
19. Find the lie:
He must want to be the only serial killer in politics pic.twitter.com/lDowzqUxGf
— Victor Pope Jr (@VictorPopeJr) March 16, 2016
20. All the information is here:
Ted Cruz's Age = 45
People Zodiac Killed = 37
Ted has 2 kids
Cruz is from Canada aka "The 6"
Ted Cruz = The Zodiac Killer
— Baked Alaska (@bakedalaska) March 15, 2016
21. We just have to pay attention to the signs:
ted cruz search history:
"can the zodiac be president"
"how to get murder stains out of dockers"
"zodiac killer discount where" #ZodiacTed
— Churlish (@Cryptoterra) January 20, 2016
22. It’s almost like he wants us to know:
23. HOW DOES THIS NOT HAVE MORE NOTES?
24. Just imagine, though:
imagine carrying a child for 9 months and finding out he is the zodiac killer ted cruz
— ratmanda (@LlNDSAYLOWLIFE) March 14, 2016
25. Has Ted Cruz gone too far?
26. Well, that’s that:
Ted Cruz is the zodiac killer pic.twitter.com/pu9i6amgDi
— the meme index (@memeindex) February 28, 2016
Which of these memes was your fave? Let us know in the comments!