26 Of The Most Insane Posts About Ted Cruz That Will Make You Cry From Laughter

Ted Cruz is many things. He is (allegedly) a Texas senator. A broken man who is running for presidential office despite the fact that his own offspring are part of his campaign, but only by means of brute force, and often brags that their favorite pastime is playing something called “attack the daddy.” He is also, as everyone knows, the Zodiac Killer–a serial killer who operated in Northern California from the late 1960s to early 1970s.  Now, much like Donald Trump, a Ted Cruz presidency would under no uncertain terms bring about a period of social turmoil so great that the only solution would be to move to Canada or, at the very least, have your state secede from the Union. But, also like Donald Trump, we do have much to be thankful for in regard to Ted Cruz, since he has inspired a great deal of very excellent Internet memes. I mean:

Between the butter cow and the zodiac killer and the inherent meme-ification that appears to live within the wilted flesh-colored SkyDancer that is Ted Cruz, there are some very, very special posts about Ted “Zodiac Killer Illuminati 666” Cruz out on this here internet. Check them out here:

1. You did this to yourself, dude:


 

2. Like…


 

3. There is much to pull from of the Ted Cruz “aesthetic:”


 

4. Such as his abject hatred for anything woman-related:


 

5. And his stunning likeness to Kevin from The Office (who would be a preferable option for president, actually):

Well played, protestor at Ted Cruz rally. Though, to be fair, you are insulting Kevin's intelligence by the comparison.

A photo posted by Brian Baumgartner (@bbbaumgartner) on


 

6. His awful penchant for blue jeans:


 

7. His overall…presence:


 

8. His very, very unnerving presence:


 

9. Which causes reasonable reactions like this:


 

10. WHAT EVEN IS THIS. WHAT. HOW. WHY:


 

11. He also looks like this guy from a Christian heavy metal band:


 

12. Most of all, though, he just looks like the Zodiac Killer:


 

13. Probably because he is the Zodiac Killer:

http://mynameisnotalexia.tumblr.com/post/141029737359/blurryselfie-confirmed


 

14. Ah, yes:


 

15. He’s getting scared that we’re catching onto him:


 

16. How much cold, hard evidence will it take?


 

17. How many miles must we run?


 

18. This is…gorgeous:


 

19. Find the lie:


 

20. All the information is here:


 

21. We just have to pay attention to the signs:


 

22. It’s almost like he wants us to know:

http://lord-kitschener.tumblr.com/post/141229537098


 

23. HOW DOES THIS NOT HAVE MORE NOTES?

http://davidov64.tumblr.com/post/141241418452/the-zodiacs-according-to-ted-cruz


 

24. Just imagine, though:


 

25. Has Ted Cruz gone too far?

http://weather.tumblr.com/post/140341011038/reblog-if-you-have-been-personally-murdered-by-ted


 

26. Well, that’s that:

Which of these memes was your fave? Let us know in the comments!

You can reach the author, Sara Hendricks, on Twitter and Instagram.

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