There are a lot of great things about text messages: they’re convenient, they can be less awkward than phone conversations, and they’re fast. But even though we wouldn’t trade texting for anything, it can be so annoying sometimes. When the person you’re texting can’t hear your voice or see your face, it’s easy to get confused about what a text message really means and how to answer. Just like we get texts from guys that leave us clueless on what to text back, guys get text messages from us that they have no idea how to respond to. Except, instead of saying that, they’ll either say something lame back, not respond at all, or just act like everything’s normal. And if that’s the case, how are we supposed to know we’re sending something wrong?!
I could write a book filled with text messages I’ve sent to guys in which they replied, “Whaaaaa?” I’ve even had to delete their numbers completely out of my phone because I know that I have no self control when it comes to texting. It’s my own form of self-intervention. Through the years, I’ve realized that the less I text guys, the more smoothly our relationship goes. If I need to communicate something important, I do it in person (even though that’s much harder to do). I’ve had to send a lot of embarrassing texts to get to this place in my life, though.
Here are some examples of texts girls send that leave guys scratching their heads:
Really General QuestionsIf you have absolutely nothing to say, then maybe just say nothing at all. It can be annoying to get super generic questions or statements like a random "I'm bored" or "what are you doing?" when you know they're in class. How are they supposed to respond? With an in-depth analysis of their current emotional state? Probably not.
Confusing EmojisIf you're sending texts to guys that need a a guidebook to interpret, you might want to reconsider. A series of unrelated emojis will do nothing more than completely confuse your guy. You might think the meaning is obvious, but more often than not it's like texting another language. I can't tell you how many times I've sent what I thought was a cute emoji only to throw off the guy I was trying to flirt with.
Overly Dramatic TextsWhen we're angry, we tend to lash out via text. Never a good idea. First of all, that text will be shown to all his friends and will be there for posterity. Secondly, texting isn't the best place for arguing. If you're angry or upset about something the guy did, that's fine! But you should either try to talk in person or on the phone, or be more clear when you decide to send a message.
Relationship-Defining TextsThis is a conversation you really should have IN PERSON. Guys never know how to respond to these types of questions via text, and it might be too easy to misinterpret their answer. I've had too many girlfriends hold up their phone to me after asking their man something like this and asking me to interpret. "But what do you think he means by this??"
Passive-Aggressive TextsYou really want a guy to have to decipher what you're feeling over text with no physical or vocal cues to help him out? You're setting him up for failure. Guys (and really every human ever) HATE getting passive-aggressive texts. It will either make me so annoyed he just won't respond, or it will start a fight when things could have been solved in a more peaceful way.
Multiple Long Texts In A Row About A Weird SituationOkay, so you did something weird or creepy, or you messed up in some way. It's fine, it happens. Trying to figure out how to act now? Just send a quick, short apology text. Sending too many texts in a row (like this) comes off as panicky and even more weird. It makes things into a bigger deal than they need to be.
Accusatory TextsWhen you go on a witch-hunt via text message, the guy will have no idea what to say back. He'll probably want to write "STFU", but he'll know that will only make you more mad. Don't confront a guy over text (especially over something silly like his social media behavior) because it won't end up being a good conversation. And you especially shouldn't confront him, or anyone, when you're just assuming things.
Random InvitationsIf you're texting your BF and you came up with a cute date idea, send it! But if this is your crush and you've never hung out, or you have no idea where you stand, or it's any kind of confusing situation like that, try to keep things more casual at first. Instead of "Want to do this super cute date idea?!" say "Want to hang out one day?"
Have you ever sent any texts like this? Let me know in the comments below!
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