16 Reasons Why We Don’t Actually Need International Women’s Day

I don’t know if you’ve heard yet, but today happens to be International Women’s Day. There are a lot of reasons why people are celebrating, but personally, I’m not about it. A whole day? For women? Sounds stressful! Why, before this “women’s day” situation came to be in 1908, all women had to worry about was popping out seventeen swarthy, sturdy male babies, asking their husbands for enough money to go to the corner store to buy some bolts of muslin to sew some sexy outfits for their babies, and hoping that their pre-vaccination immune systems were strong enough to ward off the latest outbreak of diphtheria and typhoid.

Ah, to go back to this simpler, pre-women’s lib time! Feminism? Overrated! Independence? I’ll pass. Self-autonomy? Thanks, but no thanks.  Basically, International Women’s Day is actually totally unnecessary–here’s why:

1. A whole day?? But that’s so much tiiiiiiiime


2. I *love* it when men explain things to me, personally! I refuse to think for myself!


3. Mansplain me harder, daddy.


4. Plus, women already get so much cool representation in movies and TV.


5. And in gifs:


6. And the media.


7. Female characters? But…why?


8. And it’s such a *blessing* when men tell women to smile.


9. And tell fun stories at parties.


10. And send you unsolicited group sexts for no discernible reason.


11. Who doesn’t love being defined solely by qualifiers?


12. And wildly unequal standards?


13. I mean…


14. Plus, International Women’s Day just gets in the way of some sick sandwich jokes.


15. And catcalling.



16. Equality? Who needs it?

What do you think about International Women’s Day? Let us know in the comments!

You can reach the author, Sara Hendricks, on Twitter and Instagram.

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