It seems as though #RelationshipGoals couples–you know, those ones you see on Instagram that are propositioned as being what you, personally, should strive for in a relationship–know how to do everything. They know how to look really good in matching sweatpants, for example, and they know how to coerce their friends into being their personal photographers. They also know how to ensure that every girl in the world gets as many giant stuffed bears as she wants (or doesn’t want, it doesn’t really matter).
You know what they don’t know how to do, though? Kiss someone. Like, on the mouth. The way you usually do if you are in a relationship with someone, and that relationship is, for all intents and purposes, #goals. As you would expect, a lot of the pictures on Relationship Goals accounts feature couples in various stages of foreplay, which, of course, features some kissing. And some of these kisses are, um, different.
It’s not that they’re offensive, necessarily, or that they’re particularly gross. They’re just…weird. Like, *someone” clearly didn’t spend enough time practicing making out on the crook of their elbow when they were in middle school, you know? But they were so hot, so #bae, so #goals that every person they kissed didn’t mind that they were technically kind of bad at it,and, as such, they never actually learned how to kiss. Which leads us to this–a sad conglomerate of beautiful, gorgeous, idiotic #RelationshipGoals couples who, unfortunately, have no idea how to actually kiss someone:
3. Excuse me.
4. What’s going on under that hair?
5. Do you think anyone has told them that you don’t *have* to do this every time you kiss someone?
6. No, really. You don’t have to do this. I promise.
7. Noooo! Not his CHIN BEARD, JessaLynn!! You’re so kooky!
8. Not the bear either, you silly girl!!
10. Kyle and Mighleigh won’t kiss until marriage, but you can bet that they’ll make out with those turkey legs as a placeholder until they can kiss on the mouth, baby.
11. “Ow,” the preteen said. “This hurts me.” “But lip biting is the best,” his partner said. So they continued, wincing through the pain to attain their #RelationshipGoals.
Lip biting is the best pic.twitter.com/rpYMgevnZf
— Relationship Goals (@RelationGoaIs) February 28, 2016
12. If you don’t grimace and throw up a peace sign, are you really making out?
13. Stop this. Stop this right now, you heathens.
What do you think of these pictures? Do you agree that they could probs use some help, logistically speaking? Let us know in the comments!