Sometimes it seems like sex is always harder on females. Not only do we have to deal with pain and the constant possibility of an infection down there, but it also seems like all the bad stuff can only happen to us. Girls have to deal with a plethora of cringe-worthy sex mishaps (unknowingly getting your period, queefing…the list goes on.) But if it makes you feel better, guys have embarrassing sex moments, too. Between moody penises and that white stuff that shoots out of them, there is just so much that can go wrong. It’s one thing to have something horrible happen when you know the other person really well, and quite another when you’ve only recently met.
One of the most embarrassing things happened a best friend of mine a year ago. He accidentally farted while getting a blowjob from a relative stranger. According to him, it was a loud, smelly one. After it happened, she just looked up at him, grabbed her purse, and left immediately. No words were spoken. I still laugh every time I think about it. Thankfully, my friend is pretty confident in himself and didn’t let the incident hold him back from getting back out there. Poor girl, though.
Here are some of the craziest, funniest, and most embarrassing things that have happened to guys during sex:
He Thanked Her... With A Cookie"After receiving my first blow job, I came in her mouth. Then handed her a cookie- I didn't know what else to do."- Kingofcatastrophe Source: iStock
He Dropped Her"I was carrying her back to my dark bedroom, and I meant to drop her on the bed but missed completely and she fell straight to the floor. She cried."- FreddyandTheChokes Source: iStock
He Hurt Himself- Badly"I was hooking up with this girl in college, and things were very good. She never minded things getting a little rougher, so I wound my arm up to give her butt a slap she'd definitely remember. Unfortunately, her motions shifted and instead of connecting to her butt, I slapped myself very, very hard in the balls. Somehow I still made it through the session, but it was definitely a C- performance from myself, at best."- VersionX Source: iStock
The Dog Ruined The Moment"Her dog came into the room, licked my butthole, and ran out of the room."- mull3286 Source: iStock
He Had A Cake Interruption"It was my 18th birthday. It was about 12:30am at my house, and my girlfriend of the time and I were laying on the couch watching a movie. My family had gone to bed earlier, and my girlfriend turns her head and says to me 'I'm going to give you your birthday present now'. We start going at it on the couch, and everything's going well. We're in the spooning position, and there is a blanket covering us up from the waist down. Not too much motion at the time just some good grinding, but I was balls deep in her. The room suddenly got lighter, but a very natural non-electric light. My eyes look up to see my mother, father, and sister with a birthday cake walking into the room. Singing happy birthday. While I am balls deep in my girlfriend."- DavidisGoliath Source: iStock
He Drooled On Her Head"One time I was getting a blowjob from a standing position. While I was looking down watching the deed, a large amount of drool came out of my mouth and dripped onto her forehead. So much shame."- WankScar Source: iStock
There Was A Volcano"I had my then-girlfriend over for sexy time. We were both a little kinky, so we were going The Downtown Route (anal). When I was close to finishing, I took the condom off and told her I was gonna cum in her butt. She was okay with this and we continued. She then falls off my bed face first with her head on the ground but legs still on the bed so her butt was the highest point of her body. She farts out all my cum from the sudden fall. It was both hilarious and horrifying."- matty_thecheeze Source: iStock
He Had An Awkward Wave"My girlfriend's little brother walked in while I was cumming in his sisters mouth. He waved at me because he didnt realize what was happening. All I could think to do was wave back.... while cumming."- baconandwhisky Source: iStock
He Got Punched"My high school girlfriend decided to punch me in the face to make our third time having sex last longer. It ended right then as I went limp in sheer surprise."- Anonymous Source: iStock
He Was Insulted"My female roommate and I started dating and sleeping together. We were in the middle of things when she said, 'I'm sorry I'm not enjoying it more, I'm just not used to someone as small as you.' That deflated more than my ego, especially since I never really considered myself small. Her attempt to console me when I tried to explain that that was pretty hurtful was that there are male enhancement treatments out there."- whomikehidden Source: iStock
Have any of these embarrassing moments happened to you? Would you be horrified if they did? Let me know in the comments below!