Ask A Guy: Is It Okay To Start A Relationship Even If You Know It’s Going To Be Long Distance?

Hey Joel,

There’s this foreign exchange student from Spain at my school this year and I totally have a crush on him! He’s funny, cute, and short like me. He is also really smart and we have lengthy and deep discussions on lots of things. We sort of smile at each other at the hallway like we are awkwardly acknowledging each other’s presence. I really like him but I don’t know if it’s a good idea to get too involved because he will be leaving. However, he has said that he has thought about coming back to the U.S. for college so there is a chance I could see him again. We are juniors so we could possibly go to prom together…what should I do??? Thanks a lot!!

goodbye

It sounds like you two really have a lot in common and are quietly both thinking the same thing. If you are already flirting in one way or another, and he seems to be returning that flirting, I say go for it! I totally get how the idea of getting close just to have him leave can be a turn off, but I feel like there is a ton more upside that counters that single issue.

The fact of the matter is, if you like him and you feel some sparks coming back, there is no reason not to get to know him better. Whether you guys end up dating is somewhat beside the point, as making a friend from another part of the world will benefit you in countless ways. Not only can you learn about his culture, but if you remain friends (or more), you’ll have a free place to say when you go to Spain!

When you really think about it, the worst case scenario is that you have a few really fun months, and then move on with your lives separately. This is the exact same risk you take in any relationship, as you could meet some other guy who goes to your school, and you break up after just a few months of dating. The only different here is that this guy has to go back to the other side of the ocean

However, with things like Facebook and Skype, long distance relationships aren’t nearly as difficult as they were even a few years ago. It allows you to stay in touch much easier, and you can even do video calls, which really helps to keep a relationship intact during long periods of separation.

Don’t wait any longer, as it just takes away from the time you could be spending together. Get out there and make a new friend (maybe more), and don’t let the notion of the ocean deter you from exploring something that could change your life!

Best wishes,

Joel

Joel Freimark has done a lot in life and seen even more. From last minute international travel to bizarre places to writing award winning books, he’s here to bring his wisdom to all your problems. He hosts a weekly advice series on Youtube and a music series also on YouTube. No question is too outrageous or personal, so go ahead and fire away! Follow him on Twitter.

Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Joel, email him at askaguy@gurl.com!

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