The older I get, the more I look back on my younger self and feel awful for all the turmoil I went through. I took everything so personally, I tried to be a “good girl,” and I didn’t know how to trust that things would eventually work out. I wish I had someone like the current me to give me advice back then. I would have encouraged myself to stick up for what I needed and to embrace the wonderful, beautiful person that I was. Except, even if someone like me was around to drop uncomfortable truth bombs I needed to hear, I probably wouldn’t have wanted to listen. I’m just being honest! I, like so many other high school students, was super stubborn and set in my ways.
As girls, we try so hard to fit into what we think we’re supposed to be, and that leads to a lot of unnecessary anxiety. My friends and I seemed to be in a constant state of angst, unsure of how to follow our dreams while still fulfilling the role of sweet, young girl. There were so many times I got taken advantage of as a young person, whether it be sexually, emotionally, or at school. But speaking my mind and saying that something was wrong often felt in conflict with the girl I was brought up to be, so I never told anyone. Now, I’m angry about it.
If I miraculously invented a time machine, I’d say some things I know would help me. Here are nine uncomfortable truths every high school student needs to hear:
It's Okay To Be A BitchYou're going to feel like you can't speak your mind or tell someone off because that would be "unlady-like." I'm going to give you permission to say whatever you want. When your cousin tries to touch you inappropriately, you don't have to be sweet. Yell at him, scream at him, and tell everyone what he tried to do to you. When that guy you go on a date with doesn't listen when you say, "No," feel free to get out of his car and find your own way home. Give him the finger while you're at it. BE A BITCH. Everyone else gets what they want- you deserve to have what you want, too. Source: iStock
If You Feel Uncomfortable, Just LeaveYou're going to be in situations that you feel are very wrong, but you're going to stay because you don't want to make a fuss. I'm going to ask you to stand up for yourself in these situations. Bad relationship senior year? LEAVE. Creepy boss? LEAVE. Weird party? LEAVE. You are autonomous and you never have to stay in something you don't like. Source: iStock
That Breakup Isn't As Devastating As You Think It IsYou can't see how you could ever love anyone else right now, but I promise you that you will find love again and it will be even better. The time you waste pining and wishing for this person could be much better spent on other things. I want to tell you that it's okay that things didn't work out between you two- it's not your fault. Source: iStock
You're More Beautiful Than You KnowYou don't think you're beautiful. All you see are your flaws- that pimple on your nose, they way your stomach pouches, the droop in your right eyelid. But you are beautiful. You're going to look back in fifteen years and say, "Wow! Why didn't I realize it?" Source: iStock
The Hard Times Actually Do Get BetterI know the you don't believe anyone who tries to comfort you with this cliché, but I'm telling you it will get better. Do you know why? Because you'll get better at handling the ups and downs of life. You're going to think about ending your life, but you shouldn't waste your energy. Keep fighting, because this rough patch only temporary and is crucial to the story of your life. Source: iStock
Your Friends Who Are Doing Better Than You Will Have Their Struggles, TooJealousy is such a waste of time. Everyone, no matter how great their life seems, will have some sort of hurdle to surmount. It may not be tomorrow, it may not even be for five more years, but it happens to everyone. I know you're going to be super envious of your friend, Kate, who gets cast in national musicals right out of college, but in a few years she'll have to work just as hard as you do. Source: iStock
You Have To Learn To Make Decisions On Your OwnI know you are paralyzed with indecision because you feel that every move you make will change your entire life. That's too much pressure! I want to take some of that burden off of your shoulders- one decision will not make or break you. Everything you do serves a purpose, so make a decision and let it go. Don't torture yourself wondering if you made the "right" choice. Source: iStock
All Those People With The Latest Clothes Are Probably Spending Money They Don't HaveYou feel "less than" the girls with the expensive shoes and the Abrocrombie & Fitch shirts, but the truth is they're not any better than you. They or their parents might even be in debt trying to "keep up with the Joneses." Feel good about the fact that you only spend money that you have. Source: iStock
Stress Will Always Be There So You Have To Learn How To DealI understand that things don't feel right. This isn't the life that you thought you were going to have when you were a little girl. That's okay. Plans change, life changes, it's never perfect. There isn't a "right" way to do anything. Even when you decide to go to that weird theater camp you hate during the summer sophomore year, you're going to get great stories out of it. The truth is, you're always going to feel stressed - you just need to learn how to get through it. Source: iStock
Which of these do you agree or disagree with? Let me know in the comments below!