Being single is one giant roller coaster ride. There are times when it feels amazing, because you get extra time for yourself and you have the freedom to flirt with whomever you want. But then there are times when it feels kind of depressing, like when Valentine’s Day rolls around or whenever you watch romantic movies. It’s just a constant mix of highs and lows that you learn to get used to.
But regardless of how your singleness makes you feel, chances are you probably don’t pay attention to the little things that are ruining your chances of finding someone. When you’re single for a long time, you can’t help but feel content and just settle with the way things are. However, if you keep doing the same things or you’re not actually making an effort, you’re only keeping yourself single.
If you really want to know what you’ve been doing wrong, check out these 12 things that are actually keeping you single.
1. You’re constantly telling people that you don’t need someone else to be happy.
There’s nothing wrong with being independent and proud. It’s actually a very admirable quality. However, if you go around announcing to everyone that you don’t need to be in a relationship, you’ll just come off as self-righteous and increase your chances of staying single. I mean, yes, it’s great to paint yourself as strong, self-sufficient and confident, but if you overdo it, people will start to think that you actually want to stay single for the rest of your life. Maybe you do – in which case, great! But if that isn’t your end goal, then tone it down a bit.
2. You believe that you’ll find your soul mate naturally.
A lot of people believe that if they just live their lives without making much of an effort to meet people, their one true love will come along and sweep them off their feet when they least expect it. It’s a sweet idea and it’s definitely possible. However, the chances of that actually happening are slim to none because this is reality. Not a romantic comedy film.
3. There’s a lack of confidence.
Believe it or not, one of the top qualities that people find sexy is confidence. Being able to love yourself and be comfortable in your own body is just really inspiring and super attractive. But if you don’t feel happy about who you are, people will notice. It’s also a clear sign that you’re probably not ready for a relationship.
4. You’re setting unrealistic standards.
There’s nothing wrong with setting a high standard and refusing to settle for someone who’s mediocre, but at the same time, it’s important to remember that guys are only human. You can’t expect them to act like the perfect knights in shining armor 24/7. People lose sight of this way too easily.
5. You’re sticking to your friends like glue during social events.
I’ll admit that I’m totally guilty of this one. Whenever I go to a social event I usually cling to my group of friends without bothering to mingle with strangers (well, unless they actually approach me first). However, this habit only prevents you from getting the chance to meet new people (and potentially land a date).
6. You keep following bad advice.
When you’re single for a long period of time, your friends and family have this tendency to morph themselves into relationship experts all of a sudden. It always seems like they actually understand what’s best for you, and so of course, you blindly follow any and every piece of advice that they give you. But here’s the thing: Your friends and family are not experts on love and dating. So before you even consider relying on everyone else’s opinions, consider your own and decide to do what you’re most comfortable with.
7. You’re negative all the time.
If you’re always the designated party-pooper among your group of friends, then you need to change that immediately. Being bitter is a huge turn off and you’ll just end up pushing a lot of people away.
8. You’re too picky about appearance.
I’ve heard some people give a laundry list of perfect qualities that they expect their dream guy to have, and I just couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, yes, it’s okay to fantasize about the perfect guy once in a while, but it still helps to be realistic. After all, there’s no guarantee that your significant other will look like a supermodel.
9. You complain about being single a lot.
It’s totally fine to vent about this to your friends once in a while (I mean, we’re only human, right?). But if you make it a regular habit and complain every chance you get, your negativity will only push people away. Keep in mind that misery doesn’t love company.
10. You obsess over one crush and refuse to move on.
It’s pathetic, but obsessing over crushes who have no interest in me is a pretty much a skill that I’ve developed and honed. But I realized that doing this only keeps me back, because focusing on that one person might cause me to miss out on meeting other people who actually have an interest in me. So even though it’s easier said than done, you seriously shouldn’t waste your time worrying over a crush (unless you honestly feel like it can go somewhere).
11. You get super personal immediately after you meet new people.
No, it’s not a good idea to get into the details of how your last breakup went or explain how you really want to have a husband and three kids in the next few years. Getting too personal with people that you barely know is always an instant turn-off.
12. You’re staying in your comfort zone.
You’re probably thinking: “Why should I bother to venture out and do something different when I’m perfectly happy and content with how things are right now?” Well, unless you’re actually content with staying single, you can’t do the same things and expect to see different results. So if you’re used to sticking with a certain schedule or you do the exact same activities on a regular basis, consider switching things up. You just might meet someone in the process!
Which of these surprised you the most? Do you think there are other things that could keep you single? Tell us in the comments below!