It’s an awful feeling when you realize that someone you thought was your friend is just using you. You want to believe with all of your heart that your friendship is sincere, but some people will abuse your giving ways. Nice people often get taken advantage of – it’s one of the great injustices of life. However, allowing a one-sided friendship in your life will hurt your self esteem and drain you emotionally and financially.
I’ve been victim to my fair-shair of abusive friendships. I currently have a friend who I think is really cool, pretty, and talented. We’re friends, but she never invites me over, I have to make all the plans, and she is always hitting me up for favors. Of course, I always say, “Yes” when she asks me for something because I like to help out my friends. However, I have a feeling that we don’t actually have a strong friendship. I know that I either need to confront her about this or start to distance myself.
How can you avoid getting used in friendships? Setting boundaries is important- if you never say, “No,” your friends continue to take advantage of your good will. It’s good to be there for your BFFs, but it should always be reciprocated. Here are some telltale signs that your friend is actually just using you:
They Never Invite You AnywhereDid you find out on Snapchat that your friend is throwing a party... and you weren't invited? Ouch. But didn't you just help them move last week? That doesn't seem right. This means she knows you'll help her out when she needs it, but doesn't count you as a close friend. If she never invites you anywhere, but you invite her places, that's not a good sign. Source: iStock
They Pop In And Out Of Your LifeAs soon as something cool happens to you, *boom*, there they are. They're magically available to help you celebrate, go to cool parties, and reap the rewards of whatever awesome thing you're doing. But when you're going through a hard time, they are nowhere to be found. Sounds like they are a fair-weather friend who is only there for you when it benefits them. Source: iStock
They're Not There For You But Always Want You There For ThemAre you available to them at a moments notice, but when you need something, they're not able to help you out? Seems like a one-sided friendship. I've been in plenty of these relationships (I tend to be a "nice person") and it isn't until I get burned multiple times that I get the courage to end the friendship. Source: iStock
They Shower You With ComplimentsYou like a sincere compliment as much as the next person, but this "friend" really lays it on thick. I mean, you're obviously fabulous, but this person will shower you with praise every time you see them. Some people are just very complimentary, but if this is associated with asking for favors, it could be an issue. This flattery could be a ploy to get what they want from you. Source: iStock
They've Done Hurtful Things To YouWhether it's stealing a guy you like, blowing you off, or making an underhanded comment, this person doesn't have your best interests at heart. A true friend will build you up. How many times are you going to let your "friend" hurt you before you realize they aren't your friend? Don't let it keep happening. Source: iStock
You Heard They Talk About You Behind Your BackThis person is super nice to you to your face, but you heard from another friend that they are spreading rumors about you. Why are they acting like your friend if they don't actually like you? They probably want something from you. Get this shady person out of your life. Source: iStock
They Tell You Secrets To Make You Feel ClosePeople who are manipulative will share information in order to bond. You'll instantly feel connected to them and subsequently want to do things for them. You'll find out later, though, that this is a tactic they use with everyone- you're not actually special. Source: iStock
They Always Ask For FavorsDo you have something this person really enjoys? Whether it's an awesome house, a free meal, or access to a guy, this "friend" always asks you to hook them up. You have no problem helping out your friends, but this person is constantly abusing the privilege. Something in your gut is telling you they are using you. Source: iStock
You Don't Understand Why You're FriendsDo you run in completely different circles, have few things in common, and have previously never really talked? This friendship doesn't add up. This "friend" might be seeking you out so that they can get something from you. It's easy to fall under the spell of someone you look up to, but beware if they seemingly came out of nowhere. Source: iStock
Have you ever had a friend who has used you? Let me know in the comments below!