14 Of The Most Badass Tinder Comebacks Of All Time

Tinder, if you haven’t already heard, has defied the odds. The dating app, you see, is no longer solely a punchline–something that one uses all the time but “only as a joke,” or something to idly swipe on when boredom strikes–but, rather, it’s actually become a legitimate way of meeting people IRL. It’s true!  Real-life ladies have met their husbands on Tinder! Fabled Bling Ring author Nancy Jo Sales wrote a Vanity Fair article about Tinder! It’s a great comeback story, for sure, but Tinder never really had to win me over to begin with. For me, it is the one place where I can exist in my purest form:

My only regret when it comes to this encounter? That I never got to respond to this message quite the way that I would have liked to. I said, simply, “no”–my profile was not hacked, thank you very much, this is real, this is me, I’m exactly who I’m supposed to be now–and, upon seeing that, Michael here unmatched me. Very rude! I will have to resign myself to living out the rest of my days thinking about what could have been said here, of course. But, while we wait that out, why not check out these comebacks that some other girls were able to give to the not-so-great messages they received on Tinder? Trust me, you’ll love it:

 1. Here is a very convincing fake number!

911

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2. A nice flex in terms of “career goals:”

castrate

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3. A good way to let a guy know that you have standards, honestly:

fmk

 

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4. Muumuus–objectively the sexiest dress that anyone can wear. Surely, Vinny agrees:

grandmamuumuu

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5. Why not invoke religious imagery whenever you can? Guys love it:

holy-father

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6. When words can’t, emojis can:

knife

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7. A classic example of playing “hard to get:”

north-jorea

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8.  Asking all the right questions:

nose-dick

 

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9.  Oops:

okcupid

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10.  When in doubt, a great tactic is to question how their overall gains are coming along:

opener

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11. Or point out the reasons why you two will never work out:

peanuts

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12. Or, like a true savage, just tear apart the entire thesis of their pickup line:

uranus

 

 

13. You know I love a good poem on Tinder (especially one that points out why one should never say the word “dicking,” at all, ever):

poem copy

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14. The best Tinder comeback? Why, it’s the sage you’d impart to your own flesh and blood, of course:

dontjoin

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Do you use Tinder? Which of these comebacks was your fave? Let us know in the comments!

You can reach the author, Sara Hendricks, on Twitter and Instagram.

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