Trying to get over someone you like who is obviously not into you can be difficult. It involves a process of letting go that can take weeks or even months, because you actually aren’t ready to let go – you’re just being forced to. When you like someone, it’s easy to be overly hopeful and to see everything they do as a sign that they might be into you. It can a long process of denial before you’re ready to admit that person might not be that into you – and that hurts really badly. You then have to figure out how to move on with your life. You’ll start to wear on your friends and act irrationally, but eventually you’ll pull out the other side.
I’m chronically into guys who don’t like me. IT’S A PROBLEM. Just last week I met the perfect guy. He has the most adorable gap in his teeth, he’s funny, and he is SO NOT INTO ME. Meanwhile, there are a couple other guys who asked me out that I have no desire to date. Brain, why are you doing this to me? I’d like to only be attracted to people who think I’m awesome, but that seems to rarely be the case. It’s a cruel world.
We’ve all been ghosted, and it can be a confusing process. Here are the stages of getting over someone who is not that into you:
STAGE 1) Getting multiple unreturned/unenthusiastic texts
You spend weeks, sometimes even months, making excuses for that person, until it becomes inexcusable: they aren’t too busy, their phone isn’t dead 90 percent of the time, they didn’t forget to text back for six weeks, your phone isn’t broken. They just aren’t responding because they don’t want to.
STAGE 2) Coming up with excuses as to why they don’t want to hang out with you.
Like the phone silence, you’ll be in denial for a while, convinced that it will happen one day… until it’s just not possible anymore.
STAGE 3) Trying to figure out if they’re seeing someone else.
This stage is full of panic, anxiety, sadness, and anger. Sometimes all at once. It’s exhausting.
STAGE 4) Stalking them online
This is the part where you become completely obsessive until a friend has to threaten to delete your Facebook account because oh my God you need help.
STAGE 5) Trying to figure out why they don’t like you
Honestly, this is a depressing stage. Just get through it.
STAGE 6) Sending them an unsolicited message just to make sure
Okay, wait, did they just like your status? Maybe they ARE interested. Maybe they just thought you weren’t interested! You should remind them you are.
STAGE 7) Talking to all your friends about them
This is the point in time when you have to feel grateful for your friends.
STAGE 8) Dressing your best around them so they know what they’re missing
Or, in other words, the stage where you remind feel angry with him for not choosing you.
STAGE 9) Try to stop thinking about them
AKA the moments you do literally anything to not have them on your mind.
STAGE 10) Get an intervention from your friends
This is when you get the tough love you desperately need.
STAGE 11) Tell yourself that you don’t care
This is the period where you act unfazed, tell everyone you’re fine, then go home and cry alone.
STAGE 12) Attempt to be into someone else
Okay, so they’re not that cute, and yeah, they’re pretty annoying, but they seem into you, and that’s all that matters, right? (Wrong.)
STAGE 13) Realize you want to be with someone who wants to be with you
AKA empowerment stage. You’re worth more than that dude who lost out on you.
Do you have trouble getting over people who don’t want to date you? Let me know in the comments below.