7 Things You Think Will Make You Pregnant, But Won’t

Pregnancy scares can happen to anyone, even those of you who had stellar sex ed or those of us who write about this kind of stuff for a living (hint hint, the Gurl team). Hell, I’ve had a pregnancy scare when I didn’t even have sex, because it’s easy to get paranoid and erroneously convince yourself that you somehow managed to get semen up your cooch. Late periods and bloating can really lead to some wacky thoughts, trust.

Some of you are probably going to read this post and think, “I’m not an idiot, of course you can’t get pregnant that way!” But you have to realize that, uh, a lot of people truly think that some of the following are guaranteed to make someone qualified for a part in MTV’s Sixteen And Pregnant. So, take this post as a reminder: Here are seven things you think will make you pregnant, but won’t. Good luck, and remember to stay safe.

 


Blow Jobs

Swallowing semen doesn't lead to pregnancy. Your body isn't wired that way! The only place that semen is going is down your throat and into your stomach. Reminder: You can only become pregnant if semen enters your vagina or, more rarely, lands on your vulva.

Skins

Being In Water With Semen

SPERM IS NOT GOING TO SWIM ITS WAY UP YOUR VAGINA JUST BECAUSE SOMEBODY SPUNKS IN THE BATH, JACUZZI, HOT TUB, POOL, WHATEVER. Got it? Good.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Anal Sex

The only way you can become pregnant from anal sex is if your partner's semen dribbles (sorry) down and enters your vagina. Otherwise? You're clear. Semen isn't going to seep through some membranes in your rectum and find its way to your fallopian tubes.

YouTube

Ejaculation On Your Body

Your body won't just absorb sperm and lead to pregnancy. And sperm isn't going to hop up your body and land into your vagina either. Chill. A guy coming on your thigh shouldn't make you buy Plan-B.

My Mad Fat Diary

Masturbation

Yes, this is an actual concern that many folks genuinely have. But...listen: There's no semen involved when you're masturbating so you're going to be fine.

The To-Do List

Grinding

You can't suddenly become pregnant because somebody rubs their penis near your vag, especially if you're both fully clothed. Yes, even if the person comes, that doesn't mean you'll get pregnant.

YouTube

Pre-Cum (Always)

Okay, this is important: PULLING OUT IS NOT A GREAT METHOD OF SAFE SEX. Aside from not protecting you from STDs, it is only effective at preventing pregnancy if it is done correctly. Frankly, and a lot of people don't know how to do that or have really terrible self-control, so you shouldn't rely on it. However, one of the big woes about pulling out is pre-cum entering the vagina, leading to pregnancy. But, to be frank, the chances of becoming pregnant from pre-cum alone is minimal. You should be more worried about your partner depositing actual semen in your vag than pre-cum which might not even contain sperm in it at all.

For the most part, if it comes between relying on pulling out or just not having sex, you'll be a lot less paranoid doing the latter.

Girls

 

What other pregnancy myths are out there? Which did you believe?  Tell us in the comments!

You can follow the author, Ashley Reese, on Twitter or Instagram. Don’t worry, she doesn’t bite!

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