20 Overly Sexual Valentine’s Day Memes With Absolutely No Chill

When it comes to the subject of mid-range, overtly-commercialized holidays, there may not be one that is quite so divisive as Valentine’s Day. You’ve got the people who love it, counting down the days until they can show their Beloved how much they actually care about them through an assortment of prescribed, pre-approved, abjectly boring gifts–you know, flowers, chocolate, jewelry. Then, there are the holiday’s firm, steadfast Haters, who either totally seal themselves off from the rest of the world on Valentine’s Day, or use the day to make everyone very aware that they are single but loving it because they hate couples and Valentine’s Day is a Hallmark holiday, anyway, through long, all-caps rants on Facebook and Twitter. There’s also a third group–one which, if I had to choose, I’d probably affiliate myself with–that’s apathetic-to-passive about the holiday itself, but have to admit that there’s something very appealing about the heart-shaped candy game, what with Reese’s Hearts, Dove Hearts, and everything in between.

So, yeah–there’s a lot going on. Looking for a way to unify everyone on the Valentine’s Day front this year? Why, it can be done through what I’ve always viewed as a universal panacea: Memes. Specifically, those awkwardly-sexual Valentine’s Day cards that you see hanging out on Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram. Whether you’re a Valentine’s lover, hater, or just here for the chocolate, check out these overly sexual Valentine’s Day memes with absolutely no chill:

1. Nice and subtle:



2. Also subtle:


3. Today was a big day–I learned that “cookie” can be a euphemism for “vagina!”


4. Great dick content, here:


5. Also nice:


6. This formula is simple…


7. But very effective:


8. If ever there was a character made for these memes it is Tina Belcher:



9. There’s a Harry Potter subgenre, which is pretty great:


10. They are so charming!


11. I MEAN:


12. Star Wars fans also really…go for it:


13. Daddy AF:


14. Love this little guy!! Now, he can be part of your sexual awakening:


15. Is this “going too far?” I don’t even know anymore!


16. Very sweet:


17. Maybe less sweet:


18. Sweet in its own, Gaston-y way:


19. Hell yeah:


20. Get it, kids:


What do you think of these cards? Would you give them to anyone? Let us know in the comments!

You can reach the author, Sara Hendricks, on Twitter and Instagram.

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